My WXXI interview

So I agreed to interview with our local NPR station on Christmas morning at 7:51am. I was a bit nervous about this, I won't lie. Heaven knows I'm comfortable talking to cameras and microphones - have done it many times before. But as I said in a recent post, I felt incredibly unqualified for this. Here I am, just over a year into my ministry. What on earth do I know about how a community can heal after something like this? I immediately thought of a handful of my colleagues who would be much better at this than I would. But I was the one she asked. So I thought, I guess I'm as qualified as anyone to talk about this.

Unfortunately, the interview only ran once and accidentally got recorded over, so I have no record of it. But I will try to remember some of what she asked, and what I tried to say.

This is so hard for people to understand. What words do you have to offer people trying to make sense of this?
Well, I unfortunately don't have any answers. I wish I did, but there just aren't any answers. But my faith, and this is what we celebrated last night, is that in Christ we have a light that promises to shine in the darkness and shatter the fear that comes with that darkness. We have hope. It doesn't make anything make more sense, but it is something to hold onto. God promises that He will be Emmanuel, God with us, and on Christmas especially, we celebrate that promise. What better time to remember and celebrate that? So that's what we rallied around last night. We gathered together and gave thanks for that light shining in the darkness, who promises to be with us in our suffering, even if it isn't taken away.

You held Christmas Eve mass last night. What was the mood?
It was guarded, I guess. People wanted to say Merry Christmas and be joyful, but our hearts were so heavy. So there were a lot of tears, and a lot of hugs, but it was really good to just be together and come together in faith, if not in joy.

This is such a tragedy, and I think people are feeling bad about celebrating a nice Christmas in the midst of it. They feel guilty doing that. What do you have to say about that?
Guilt is definitely a feeling many of us are feeling, and while all feelings are legitimate and we need to just let ourselves feel, guilt is not a very helpful one. I feel terrible and sad about all this, but feeling guilty is not going to bring back people's homes or the people they have lost. And yes, it is hard to feel joy, but we can try to give thanks for what we do have, knowing that some people in our community no longer have these things to give thanks for. All the more reason for us to appreciate what we have.

Have you ever dealt with a tragedy like this in your career?
Well, my career isn't very long yet, just over a year, but last year in December there was that house fire in Webster in which a couple kids died. The kids in my confirmation class knew those kids, were friends with them, and so that was really hard for them. We had to sit down and process that and talk about it together. I'm sure other tragedies will happen during my career - I hope not, but probably will at some point.

What can people do?
Already people have done something, and that is to gather together. Being together is so important, and Webster has already done that - it's a close community who cares for each other. People gathered for worship last night, and there was a vigil at the firehouse last night where I know people were flocking. We can also pray for each other, and we can listen to each other. In my position, I can offer to listen and pray with people, and listen for any areas of need that come up and address them as we're able. For anyone else, well, we can all do those same things. We all have two ears to listen, two arms to hug, and hearts to pray - and people are already doing these things.

We were talking a moment ago about how as a pastor you get invited into people's most intimate moments. You must deal with a lot of sadness and a lot of joy in your position. How do you manage all that?
That's a great question, and it is really hard. Last night, looking out at 100 pairs of eyes at two different services, all looking for some words of hope in the midst of this... There is definitely a certain amount of compartmentalizing that has to happen to be able to get through that. But then I go home to my family, and that's when I'm able to let go and cry.


There might have been other questions, but that's all I can remember. One friend heard it and said it sounded okay, and that I sounded composed, even though I very nearly cried at that last question. Hard questions. Hard stuff all around.