Sermon: Denying ourselves for the sake of love (Sept. 3, 2017)

Pentecost 13A

September 3, 2017

Exodus 3:1-15

Romans 12:9-21

Matthew 16:21-28

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

            This past week, a Facebook memory popped up from four years ago of Michael’s and my second fourth wedding anniversary. You may remember, we got married twice: once in California at the beginning of August, and then we did the ceremony again here so all of our East Coast friends – including you! – could be a part of it. It was an especially timely memory, because one of the scripture readings we had at our wedding was what we heard a moment ago from Romans. “Let love be genuine,” Paul writes. “Hate was is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, extend hospitality to strangers.” I think it is very good advice for a newly married couple, which is why we chose it! But in the NRSV Bible translation we use, this is actually called, “Marks of a true Christian,” and that’s really true. These are all behaviors and efforts and traits of someone who not only follows Christ in word, but also in deed. In other words, if you call yourself a Christian, then these describe how you live your life.

            In fact, I think all of the things that follow – the ones I read just now and the whole list that was read earlier – could all be elaboration on that first statement: “let love be genuine.” The word Paul uses there means “sincere,” or, “love without hypocrisy.” In other words, don’t just talk to the talk, but walk the walk. Say you do these things, and then, actually do them.

This is really the heart and soul of faith, isn’t it? From the very beginning, God has always acted in love: creating the world, redeeming God’s people through Christ, and empowering the Church to service of the world. No one can deny that genuine love is a pretty big part of being a Christian, right?

            What’s sometimes tricky is knowing just how that genuine love should be enacted. Sometimes it is obvious – we see genuine love in kindness, and generosity, and compassion. We’ve seen a lot of that in Houston this week in the wake of Hurricane Harvey, as neighbors selflessly help neighbors, people open their homes to strangers in need of shelter, workers tirelessly save people’s lives around the city, and people around the country donate money and goods. We see it in our various ministries here: donations of food and other goods, the Christmas stocking project, and the like.

But sometimes love is less obvious – like the spouse of an alcoholic finally putting her foot down, and forbidding her beloved what he craves, or putting boundaries in place to keep your children safe, even if they scream and cry about it. What’s especially tricky is when love expressed for one person looks like lack of love for another – say, if someone with power is oppressing someone without power, and someone else comes to put a stop to it. The weaker party felt that as loving, but the powerful party probably didn’t. But see, love doesn’t always look like agreement or tolerance; sometimes it looks like putting a firm stop to abuse. You see, love can be complicated, and can look very different in different situations.

            So, as we try to sort all this out, what if we try to understand what genuine love looks like in light of our Gospel text today? Jesus says to his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” They are tough words – but no tougher than what Jesus himself does for us. He even says as much in John’s Gospel, telling them that there is no greater love than to put down your life for a friend. That is, to lose your life. So… if that is genuine love, what does that mean for us?

            Let me start by saying, I don’t think it means you have to literally leave everything dear to you behind, nor that you have to literally die. Though, I do think it means you have to be willing to do those things, if it is in service to the gospel. There are a few exceptional examples in history who have indeed died for the sake of making sure God’s love is known: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Dietrich Bonhoeffer are modern examples. But for those of us who are not called to be martyrs, what might it look like to lose our life?

            This past week I had the opportunity to stand with over 3000 faith leaders of various religions in Washington DC, on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s March on Washington and his epic “I Have a Dream” speech. Together with all those people – black, white, brown, young, old, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh – we joined our voices in support of the very things Dr. King addressed in that

Ministers March for Justice, Aug 28, 2017

speech: racial justice, economic justice, jobs, and healthcare. We prayed, we sang, and we marched, celebrating what we shared, finding joy and beauty in each other’s traditions, and doing what our faiths compelled us to do, which was to stand up for the marginalized and oppressed. Throughout the event, we heard from several dynamic speakers. One thing that someone said really resonated with me. He talked about how Jesus shows us that love is most genuinely expressed in sacrifice. Then he said, “So you’re here to march for justice. That’s great. What are you willing to sacrifice for justice? What will you give up so that all might have the justice they deserve?” It comes right back to Jesus’ statement today: if you want to be a disciple of Jesus, if you want to be a genuine Christian, then you’ve got to deny yourself. You’ve got to give up your life.

            Again, I want to be clear about what this does NOT mean. It doesn’t mean we deny the gifts God has given us – to the contrary, those gifts should be used for furthering the gospel! It does not necessarily mean we have to die prematurely.

But it does mean we may have to deny something about ourselves that has brought us safety and comfort, especially emotional safety and comfort. It does mean we have to ask about all of our decisions, “Who benefits from this decision?” and then if you are the beneficiary, to also ask, “Does this benefit to me mean someone else won’t get what they need?” and then perhaps to be willing to make a different decision that is in someone else’s best interest, rather than our own. (Remember, “deny yourself?”)

It does mean being willing to be wrong sometimes. Let me ask you something: Has anyone here ever had an argument with someone in which that person successfully changed your mind in the moment? Yeah, I didn’t think so! Because people don’t generally change their mind by being told, “You’re wrong about that.” And yet, I bet every one of us has, in fact, been wrong. Right? People’s minds can only be changed by two things: relationship, and self-reflection and repentance. And so, if we want to engage in the practice of denying ourselves, losing ourselves for the sake of the gospel, and repentance, a good start is to try building relationships with people who are affected differently by an issue than you are – a person of a different color, or religion, or socioeconomic status. If you can’t find a physical person, find reading material written by someone with a different experience, and learn first hand what their life is like.

I don’t know about you, but I am much more willing to admit I am wrong about something, if I have come to realization on my own, through study and self-reflection. And this process often results in healing, for me and for those around me. So one thing I have been trying to do, as I have considered how to find healing in this divided world, is try on my own to let my mind be changed about the issues that divide us – to seek out other opinions, especially from people I respect, and approach them with the intention of being open-minded and willing to change. I read and listen to things by people of color to better understand racism. I get my news from sources with both liberal and conservative bias. I listen to interviews and read blogs from people of an opposite opinion, and see if there is anything there with which I can resonate. And I can’t tell you how many times I have thought to myself, “Oh man, Johanna, you might have been wrong on this!” Though it is easier to admit this to myself, without having to admit it aloud to another person, especially a person I’m currently arguing with, it is also true that being wrong about something, especially something you believed deeply, can feel an awful lot like losing your life, because it requires giving up a viewpoint that has been central to who you are and how you view the world.

But isn’t that what the Christian life calls us to: a life of continual repentance? And don’t we believe that ours is a God who brings about transformation? Isn’t the Christian life one in which we regularly examine our hearts for ways we have fallen short of selflessly, sacrificially, and genuinely loving our neighbor, in which we name those things before God, and pray that we would be able to turn back toward Christ? A life in which we are grateful, again and again, to receive forgiveness? Because that forgiveness, we know, did not come easily for Christ. Christ indeed denied himself, took up his physical cross, and lost his life – so that we would be able to find our new life, a life that is free of the shackles of sin, free of the fear of death, free of all that would keep us from God’s love. It is because we have that new life, that we are able and empowered to deny ourselves and give up our own lives, all for the sake of sharing that life-giving love with those who desperately need it.

Let us pray… God of love, you have shown us what it means to love one another genuinely. Now give us the courage and humility to do it. Help us to see when we are misguided and help us to understand the plight of the other, so that we would be willing to deny ourselves and lose something important to us, for the sake of those in need. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.