PALS

I have been thinking that I want to get involved volunteering somewhere locally. I've been mulling this over, thinking about where I'd like to dedicate this time, but nothing has struck me as it.

Until I get an email some time ago saying that the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester (BCCR) was having a PALS training. PALS stands for Peer Advocate Lending Support. It's a program where BCCR tries to match up a person newly diagnosed with breast cancer with someone who has been through breast cancer before, striving to match up the particular diagnosis and treatment options as well as life situation and particular personal needs. I was assigned a pal, for example, who had had a baby and breastfed her after breast cancer (shout out to Amy!), because I mentioned that one of my concerns was being able to breast feed. (Now that this is no longer an option for me, Amy said I could get a new pal if I wanted, but she has been so helpful to me, I said I was happy just keeping her as my pal!) Having a young woman with similar life goals to mine that I could talk to completely confidentially and without judgment was so important to my mental and emotional health, and on top of that she is a wealth of knowledge about resources. We've had a couple long talks, but in addition she came to both of my Bye-bye Boobie parties and also our wedding. I consider her a friend, and she is even Facebook friends with several of my friends now!

So my experience with PALS was very positive. I also really appreciated BCCR's occasional Young Survivor Soirees - four-times yearly events for women with breast cancer who identify as "young" (generally under 50). Although I am still usually the youngest by several years at these events, talking to other pre-menopausal women with breast cancer was so helpful. There aren't nearly as many resources out there for young women with breast cancer, and we have a unique set of concerns to deal with.

All of this came together with the decision that I should become a PALS mentor. Today I attended the training, and I'm very much looking forward to it. It uses a skill set I already have from chaplain and pastoral training and experience, I'm a good listener, but obviously also very comfortable sharing stories and personal information as needed, and best of all, it allows me to use my unique experience to help others going through something similar. I hope I will be able to be helpful to someone as the program has been so helpful to me!

And now, for one of my favorite poems, by Emily Dickinson:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.