Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Learning to love Jesus: A Christmas story of Grace

January 2, 2018

Dear Grace,

One of my greatest delights this season has been sharing the Christmas story with you. At 27 months (now almost 28), you are old enough to grasp at least parts of his beloved story about God becoming human, and coming to us as a baby on Christmas night. If you don’t yet understand the incarnation itself (and who does??), you at least are completely smitten with the story of baby Jesus.
Grace's nativity (sans wise men)

I bought a little nativity made of cloth for you to play with. It’s got all the major players: the holy family, of course, and a manger, plus a shepherd, a sheep, a donkey, a cow, and three wise men, all in a stable with a star and an angel attached. You immediately fell in love with it. Of course, you promptly lost Jesus, and asked about him for days. When I found him and returned him to you, you exclaimed, “Baby Jesus!” and then, “You found him!” You ran to fetch his little manger and placed him tenderly inside, announcing, “Jesus in the bed.” This was not only incredibly dear, but made for a great Christmas sermon illustration – thanks!
Monkey (Jesus) in the "manger" (aka diaper bin)

Now, you always have your eye out for baby Jesus. You notice him wherever you catch a glimpse of a nativity. And honestly, it doesn’t much matter if you can see a portrayal of this ancient and beloved story, because you will happily act it out yourself. “I’m baby Jesus,” you state matter-of-factly, and then point to each member of the family assigning parts: “Mommy is Mary, Daddy is Joseph, and Isaac is a shepherd.” Sometimes daddy and I are both shepherds, and you are Mary and Isaac is Joseph, and the part of Jesus is played by most often your blue monkey, but sometimes another friend. Whatever you have assigned, you get very indignant if we don’t call people by their proper role. When I am Mary, you call out to me, “Hey Mary!” and if I don’t respond with, “Yes, Jesus?” then you correct me. Tonight I put you to bed, after you had told me I was Mary and you were Jesus, and when I said, “Good night Grace Victoria,” you said, “I’m not Gracie. I’m Jesus.” So I said, “Good night, baby Jesus,” and you were very happy with that.

You received a beautiful children’s Bible for Christmas, and you beg for me to read stories to you about Jesus. You love all the ones with Jesus or Mary in them, and also the one about Jesus with the little children. Oh how I adore when I say, “Which story should I read?” and you say, “Jesus!”
The most elaborate "manger"

As charming as is your ongoing drama featuring the Rehbaum Players, my favorite thing of all is seeing how in love you are with Jesus. You love to build him a manger with your blocks. You have built several elaborate mangers for him. You cradle your monkey, place her in a basket, the lid of a box, or the empty diaper bin, and sing her Away in a Manger, which I recognize by a few key lines: “No ‘frying’ Jesus… I love you, oh Jesus… head on the hay…” Each time you sing, you get a few more of the words, and my heart melts a little more. Then at bedtime, when I ask what you’d like me to sing, you request, “Jesus no fry,” and I sing you Away in a Manger while I cradle “Jesus.” Sometimes you just sit back and listen, perfectly content, and sometimes you try very hard to sing along with me, learning the words. Either way, I love it. 
Another of Jesus' mangers, which has
several moving parts you demonstrated.

I love all of this as your mom, of course. But I also love it so much as a pastor. Watching you fall in love with baby Jesus has made me fall in love with him and with the story of his birth all over again. I can’t think of any other story that has such mystery, excitement, and accessibility for children and adults alike, plus countless artistic, poetic, and musical portrayals. Divine love, Jesus, and the arts – all my favorite things! You hear songs with words you know and love from the story – angels, shepherds, stars – and delight in your discovery. (You came into the kitchen the other day grinning and singing, “Glo-o-o-o-ria!” from Angels We Have Heard On High. Be still my heart!) You recognize the characters even in very different portrayals, perhaps holding one piece beside another and announcing, “Same!” or, “That’s Mary, and that’s Mary!” There are so many connections to be made – it is the perfect story to draw in a two year old, who is relishing in discovering how the world works by making connections in it. Watching it happen with my own daughter makes me marvel once again this this is how our God would choose to come to us: in a way that enchants children and mystifies sages, that brings as much joy and splendor as it does fear and astonishment, that somehow draws into one amazing story animal sounds, angel songs, the lowly and the mighty, the powerless and the powerful, a refugee family, and above all, a new baby. Who doesn’t love a good birth story? And this one is the very best!

Thank you, Grace, for helping me fall in love with Jesus all over again!

                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                Mom/Mary/Shepherd

Monday, January 1, 2018

Sermon: They found him! (Christmas Eve 2017)

Christmas Eve Sermon
December 24, 2017

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

A great joy for me this season has been sharing the Christmas story with my daughter Grace. At the mature age of 27 months, she is old enough to start to understand at least parts of it. Even though she refused to wear a sheep costume for the pageant (instead opting for a mismatched “outfit” that only a 2-year-old could love), she has had no lack of fascination with the Christmas story itself. After reading her stories, singing songs, and acquiring a cloth nativity set for her to play with, Grace has become quite enamored with the story, always keeping an eye out for what could be Baby Jesus and his family, and pointing him out when she does. Like so many throughout the generations, she is fascinated by the incredible story about a baby who was God being born to peasants in a stable, among animals and angels, with shepherds and kings among his first visitors.
Grace's Nativity
Grace loves her little nativity set. But I believe we owned it for all of two days before… we lost baby Jesus. And at church, of all places! We brought it one Sunday for the kids to play with quietly during worship, but when it came time to leave, though we looked high and low, we could not find Jesus. For two days afterward, Grace would occasionally ask, arms spread wide, “Where’d Baby Jesus go?” I couldn’t tell her. We had lost him.
Really, it’s not hard to do during this season of hustle and bustle, is it – to lose sight of Jesus. Cookies and decorations and parties and gift-giving and  -getting crowd out that part of the celebration – you know, the main part. I think a lot of us are so busy preparing a lovely Christmas for everyone else, not to mention making sure all the beloved traditions happen, that it can be difficult to prepare the way for Christ in our own hearts, let alone to find a place for him to stay there (though I’m told even Mary and Joseph had that problem). Yes, in the midst of all the wonderful activities of the season, losing Baby Jesus is a real risk.
Now, for Grace’s little nativity, it wouldn’t be too hard to replace the little figure of Baby Jesus. I contemplated calling the company and ordering a replacement, or even just whipping up a new one in my sewing room out of felt and a sharpie… Then I recognized, with chagrin, that this is all too often the solution to losing Jesus: we simply replace him with something else. We try to fill the lack, the emptiness, the Jesus-shaped hole in our lives with any number of other things – some not inherently bad, and some that we know are not good for us, yet we gravitate toward them anyway. We replace going to church with going to sporting events, or sleeping in, or brunch, telling ourselves that these activities are better for our developing a sense of community, or for our families, or for our own self-care. We replace prayer and a spiritual life with seeking advice on social media, or with self-medication, whether that “medicine” is alcohol or shopping or working more. We replace trusting in God with trusting in ourselves. All of our replacements seem much easier than continuing to look for Jesus who sometimes, if we’re being honest, can be a bit elusive.
I wonder if that is how the shepherds felt in the fields that night? I wonder if they had grown weary of searching for something they could never seem to find? As a child and even into adulthood, I always imagined the shepherds as faithful, gentle-spirited men, who were doing hard but important work. In pageants each year, shepherds were always played by the coolest boys, so I assumed the real shepherds must also be pretty cool. Turns out: not so much. Turns out, shepherds were the opposite of cool. They were in fact among the most despised in society, physically and socially on the fringes. In some ways their reputation was earned, as some shepherds were careless and irresponsible. But many were victim to a stereotype, that shepherds were untrustworthy scoundrels, dirty, lowly, and a menace to society. Because of their reputation, they were often denied charity or even civil rights. One written Jewish law even went so far as to say that if you found a shepherd who had fallen into a pit, you are not obligated to help them.
Being a shepherd was a tough life, physically, socially, and emotionally. And so I can’t help but wonder if they ever questioned whether God might be absent from their lives? Did they ever feel like they had lost God, and that it was too taxing to keep looking… so they either sought some insufficient replacement, or abandoned entirely the hope of God’s love in their lives?
How remarkable – and how appropriate – that it was to these lowly, despised shepherds, that the angels first announced the entrance of God into the world. Generations have asked, “Why the shepherds? Why not the powerful? Why not the faithful? Why not the clergy?” But the answer, I think, is obvious: the angels came to the shepherds because it was they who most needed to find God. The angels came to the most in need of love, the most in need grace, the most in need of a savior, to announce that on that night, that which they craved and sought had arrived, and he was called God-with-us.
And so it should also be no surprise to us that the shepherds would abandon everything they were doing to see it for themselves. Let us go now and see!” they say. They rush into town, running through the dark streets of Bethlehem, until they find the even darker cave where the holy family was staying – and find that its darkness has been filled with the light of love. “They went with haste,” Luke tells us, “and found … the child lying in a manger.” They found him. They found love. They found grace, and peace, and hope. They found their hearts’ deepest desire. They found Jesus.
I don’t want to leave you hanging about the saga of our little nativity. Last week, I was walking through the sanctuary… and there, sitting in the pew, was Baby Jesus: unassuming, quiet, just waiting to be found. “Baby Jesus!” I exclaimed, with what perhaps seemed disproportionate enthusiasm for those standing nearby. My heart filled with joy and relief. I eagerly returned him to Grace when I got home, and she, too, excitedly exclaimed, “Baby Jesus!” and then, “You found him!” She immediately ran to find his manger and place him tenderly inside. “Jesus in the bed,” she said, contentedly. She knew right where he should go.
The next day, I caught Grace eyeing another nativity we have in the house. This one looks much different from hers – it’s made of wood, and does not have movable characters. I asked if she knew who it was, and she correctly identified the people. Then suddenly she gasped and ran out of the room, and came back with Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus from her own nativity. She held Jesus up and exclaimed, “Same!” She recognized Jesus, even in a place she did not previously know to look for him.
And announcing her recognition of Jesus in that place was just the right thing to do – for once we have found Jesus, we must look at everything else with the intention of finding Jesus there, too, and then telling others about it. That way, we will never lose him; he will always be found.
So, where should we start looking? Well, the angels announced God’s birth first to the shepherds because they were the most in need of hearing the good news. So now we know to look for Jesus among the lowly and despised, or among those who sometimes feel that way. Jesus was born to peasants who were not welcomed in a place far from home, and who were pushed aside and dismissed. Now we know to look for Jesus among the poor, the stranger, and the refugee. God came to earth during a particular moment in history in which the government was oppressive and the poor were heavily taxed. Now we know to look for Jesus among the oppressed, among those who, due to forces outside of themselves, lack what they need to thrive.
This old and loved story has much to teach us about where to look for – and where to find – the God of love, who came to bring peace on earth, goodwill among people, and the knowledge of God’s abiding presence.
And so my hope and prayer for us this Christmas, is that we might take a cue from a toddler hearing this story for the first time: to react with enthusiasm, genuine joy and delight, whenever we find Jesus in the world; to rush to find a place for him in our hearts, and place him tenderly there, and continually to search for him in those places we might not have thought to look, to hold him up to what we see in the world around us, and to announce it when we do, marveling at the ways God continues to come among us, at Christmas and every day. May it be so.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

A year of Laughter

I'm one!
December 16, 2017

A belated “happy to you” my dear, one-year-old son!

(“Happy-to-you” is what Grace calls birthdays, in case that has not stuck by the time you read this!)
All dressed up!


The whole family
Your first birthday has come and gone, and what a wonderful celebration it was, if a bit frantic! That’s the trouble with being born into a pastor’s family in December. I do hope that we will be able to gain more control of our lives for future birthdays. But we did manage to carve out a couple of hours to celebrate you, my sweet son. Your grandma, Dede, came all the way from California to spend your birthday with you, and Uncle John and Aunt Weesie came, and of course Daddy and Grace and I, and boy did we celebrate you! I made your favorite foods – mac and cheese, green beans, and raspberries – and you gobbled them right up. Daddy even made raspberry cupcakes from scratch for you for dessert. Unfortunately, you were so interested in the burning candle while we sang to you, that you reached for it and burned yourself and started screaming partway through the song. It was difficult to calm you down (easier was earlier in the meal when I accidentally smashed your finger in the high chair… rough night for you), but
CANS!!
after I held you a while and let you feed the cupcake to me, you got over it. (You really love to put your hand in people’s mouths; I knew it would cheer you up!)

After dinner, we let you open your many presents. Your favorite, as we knew it would be, was the soda cans that Daddy emptied by drilling holes in the bottom, so you could play with the cans without cutting yourself. Oh, you grinned and grinned. For the boy whose favorite toy is the recycling bin, we knew this would be a hit!

We continue to relish in watching your personality develop, and dream about who you will become. At one year of age, here is our best description of you:

Special bunny Dede made you
You are, in general, a happy and content little guy. You make do with whatever your situation, go with the flow, and don’t make much of a fuss. We suspect you will be someone who rolls with the punches and makes the most of a situation. That said, you are also sensitive. You cry when you get hurt or when something doesn’t go your way, but are easily consoled. You are very curious, and will happily explore on your own, though you would prefer someone be in the room with you. You delight in your discoveries, and are persistent in achieving your goal. You are busy, just like Grace was, but where Grace would not sit still because she always had some job to do, you are content to sit still as long as someone is there with you talking to you and giving you something to smile about. You love to watch things. My hunch is that where Grace is the type to jump in with both feet and discover the consequences as she goes, you are an observer, first taking everything in, processing it, and then acting accordingly. You’re an affable little guy who can find contentment in any situation, though you exude joy when you are with someone or doing something you truly love. You have the most amazing laugh that makes my heart sing for joy. Your joy is contagious. When I see you grin, I just want to grab hold of you and squeeze you.

Birthday dinner
Overall, Isaac Karl, you are curious, focused, sweet, happy, easy-going, comfortable, wiggly, have a ready smile, and are generally delighted by life. I couldn’t be happier or more proud that you are my son! Happy birthday, my dear Isaac. I’m so glad you were born to us.

                                                                                    Love,

                                                                                    Your mama

Monday, December 11, 2017

Sermon: Breathing the living-giving breath (Dec 10, 2017)

Advent 2 (NL)
December 10, 2017
Ezekiel 37:1-14

            I got some positive feedback last week about offering you some context before the reading of the lesson, so that you have a sense of where it sits in the arch of the biblical narrative. So once again, I’d like to offer you some context for our reading.
            Ezekiel was a prophet during the period of the Babylonian exile – similar time to Daniel, from whom we heard last week. The Babylonian exile happened in a couple waves: the first wave of deportations happened in 597 BC. This sent primarily leaders and educated elites out of Jerusalem and into Babylon. Ezekiel, who was a priest in Jerusalem, was among those first deported. He begins his career as a prophet during this time, prophesying a lot of doom and gloom, judgment against Israel and Judah, especially leaders in Southern Kingdom. But then about 10 years later, Ezekiel learns of the fall of Jerusalem. This is devastating news for him and for the other exiles, because Jerusalem was more than a beloved city. It was the very center of their worship life, the only place to properly worship the one true God. With the destruction of that city and the Temple, the people had some very serious religious and spiritual concerns. And so at that point, Ezekiel’s prophecies turn away from judgment, and more toward hope and restoration. Today’s reading, the Valley of Dry Bones, is probably his best-known prophecy, and it is one of immense hope.
Ezekiel in the Valley of Dry Bones
in St. Nicolas Church, Great Britten
http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=55163
            Last week I also mentioned the literary style of our story from Daniel. This reading from Ezekiel, we should understand, is a vision, not a literal event. Many of Ezekiel’s prophesies are visions, allegories, or otherwise symbolic. That should be pretty obvious, but – just making sure!
Okay, here’s the story. 





O Come, O Come Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel, that mourns in lonely exile here, until the Son of God appear. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel.
            One of my family’s many Advent traditions growing up was to light the Advent wreath at dinner, and sing this hauntingly beautiful Advent hymn before we prayed. I have been singing it since before I can remember, and those words came out of my mouth before I had any clue what they meant or the story behind them. I was a teenager or young adult before I really thought about what they meant. It suddenly occurred to me, “Why are we singing ‘Rejoice’? This sounds sad. I don’t know what all those words refer to, but I know mourning isn’t good, and lonely is definitely not good, and captive sounds pretty bad, too. Rejoice?”
            Now I recognize this as a story very familiar to me – both because I know better the biblical story, and because it is a story I see in my own life, metaphorically speaking. That is, it is a story in which sadness and despair find their hope in looking toward the salvation that is to come.
The biblical story is a long narrative – the whole Bible, really – but is well captured in today’s reading. Here are a people, the Israelites, who are captive to strange rulers and a strange way of life, who are lonely in exile, and mourning the loss of their homes and all that they know and love. Without the Temple, and with Jerusalem destroyed, they were riddled with questions like, “Does God even care about us anymore? Can we reach God from all the way in Babylon, and can God reach us – and does God even want to?”
And so they cry out, “O God-with-us, Emmanuel, come! Come be God-with-us!” Do something to get us out of here! Or in the words of those dry bones, “Our bones are dried up. Our hope is lost, and we are cut off completely.” Come here and do something, O Emmanuel!
Of course, this carol wasn’t written yet in the 6th century Before Christ, but Ezekiel’s vision of the Valley of Dry Bones is in its own way an answer to that cry. It starts off like the verse of the hymn – lonely, captive, mourning. Those bones are dry, so dry. It is truly a dire situation, in which hope is completely lost. As Ezekiel takes us along for the ride, looking around and around that valley full of dry bones, our hearts, too, plead: O Come, Emmanuel! Do something to release Israel, captive to this death and hopelessness. They mourn in lonely exile here!  
But then… the rattling. At God’s Word, those bones start to shake, and move. They come together, bone to bone. Sinews form, and skin – it is remarkable! Yet for all that, they are still a valley of cadavers – there is no life in them. That doesn’t come until… what? What brings life? Ahh, the breath! The very breath of God! Just as God once breathed into the nostrils of a mud-made Adam and brought him to life, so the Spirit of the Lord comes into the army of cadavers, once a valley of very dry bones, now rejuvenated, transformed, indeed, resurrected, into a vast multitude. Hope is restored and life is once again a possibility. With God, life is always on the horizon.
I said I see this story even in my own life. There are several ways, but this week, I’m thinking about my Isaac, who celebrated this week his first birthday. Isaac, I’ll confess, was not a part of my plan – at least not yet. I had a 6 month old and was not ready for another baby, I was tired, and I was not especially pleased to be pregnant again. It didn’t help that the time I was pregnant with him was an emotionally trying time for me for other reasons. Now, of course, I couldn’t be happier that he is ours! But then, I didn’t really know what to do with this reality.
Since his birthday was this week, I was thinking a lot about that night I spent laboring him into the world. I had just sung in two remarkable and demanding concerts with my choir, pieces so difficult that I had spent hours hammering them into my head. So it was no surprise, I guess, when I felt that first serious contraction in the darkness just before midnight, that a refrain from that concert popped into my head. It was in Latin, so I didn’t think much about the meaning, but the rhythm of the words was what echoed through my head as I rocked and breathed my way through the pain. That’s what you quickly figure out in labor – when the pain starts, breathe deeply. Pain must always be accompanied by breath, the deeper the better. Breath is what makes it possible to get through the pain.
Later, I looked up the Latin, and discovered that the refrain meant this: “Know ye that the Lord is God: he made us and not we ourselves.” And so it was on
New love
that refrain, and that breath, that my Isaac made his speedy appearance, just as the sun was rising, and took his own first breath of air before being placed in my arms. And there, with his first breath – a new life began, and my heart reached a new depth of love.
When the pain starts – start breathing deeply. That is one lesson we see in Ezekiel. When the hopelessness seems to overwhelm – breathe in deeply the breath of God. When your cry is only of lament – breathe deeply. When you mourn in lonely exile, waiting for release – breathe deeply. Then we shall know that the Lord is God, that God made us, and that God has the power to remake us, to enliven us again, to transform our dry old bones into newness of life.
Where does your story meet this biblical story? Perhaps you feel your bones are dead and dry far beyond life. Maybe the demands on you and your time and energy are so great that you fall into bed each night bone tired. Or you watch the news and feel the energy and hope drain from your heart. Maybe the clutter in your life – your home, your schedule, your thoughts – leave little room for self-care, or for prayer. Or you look at your finances and wonder how you can possibly crawl out from under this much debt? As the world around us rejoices with Christmas cheer, maybe you find yourself feeling sadder than ever, as you grieve the losses of your life, the people you wish were still here, the time of life now gone by. Are there so many demands pulling you this way and that, that you find it impossible to find the time to nourish your spiritual life?
Whatever place in your life feels dry and hopeless… what would it take to once again experience life there? In what area of your life do you need the breath of God to restore, renew, or resurrect you? Where do you crave a transformation from death and hopelessness, into life?
For me, I experience dryness in the search for peace – peace in my life, peace in the world, peace in my heart. And so the words of our presiding bishop Elizabeth Eaton, in the most recent issue of Living Lutheran, our ELCA publication, really resonated with me. She writes: “Here we are in Advent. This season doesn’t exist in secular culture, where everything is barreling toward Christmas. No time to wait, no time to notice, no time to be present. Not this. Not now. All of a sudden we will find ourselves on the day after Christmas not knowing how we got there. Advent is a holy season, a season that bids us to be present, to be still. So much is evoked in this season – hope, longing, the bittersweet awareness that the world is beautiful and broken. Consider all of these things. Sit with them. Pray with them. Be aware of this time of great promise that comes … when night is longest.”
What beautiful and timely advice. It is just what I need at this time to remind me to breathe in that life-renewing, restorative breath of God. It is just what I need to remember that although we wait in this season for the Prince of Peace to come, we also already have the gift of that Spirit of peace. It is a gift that has been given to God’s people from the beginning of time – first moving over the chaotic waters of creation, then blown into Adam’s nostrils, then continually
Untitled Pentecost by John Brokenshire
http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=55229
active throughout time, even to enlivening a valley full of very dead, very dry bones.
And so let this be an Advent gift also to us today. In a moment, we will have an opportunity to breathe in the breath of God in whatever way best suits you. If you’re anything like me, time for quietly sitting and breathing deeply can be hard to come by. So, following the sermon, you are invited to breathe in the life-giving breathe of God by meditating on images, or quietly sitting and praying, or coloring this page. Maybe if your brain is as busy as mine, it would be useful for you to have a mantra. One of my favorites is simply to breathe in and think, “Breath of God,” and breathe out and pray, “Breathe in me.” Or the one Bishop Eaton suggested in the piece I just quoted is, “Just this. Just now.” Maybe you will consider offering a particular prayer you have for this day and this time – if so, write it and include it in this basket, and we will pray it during the prayers of intercession.
Now, I know, maybe this may feel silly to you. It is different than what we usually do, and maybe you feel embarrassed. But Advent is all about anticipating the greatest disruption to the “way we’ve always done things” that the world has ever known. Imagine – God becoming human! I’m sure that wasn’t comfortable, either. So I hope you will engage in this few minutes in whatever way you are able, and that you will find in it that God’s breath restores some of the dryness in your spirit, and/or that it will encourage you to bring that practice home. May we all experience the life-restoring breath of God.
Let us pray… Breath of God, as you breathed into those very dry bones and brought them to life, breathe into us today. As you restored the hope of a lonely, mourning people in exile, restore our hope today. As you promised to bring your peace to all the earth, bring your peace to us today. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Following meditative time (from Dag Hammarskjold):
Thou who art over us,
Thou who art one of us,
Thou who art, Also within us.
May all see Thee – in me also,
May I prepare the way for Thee.
May I thank Thee for all that shall to my lot,
May I also not forget the needs of others.
Keep me in Thy love
As Thou wouldst that all should be kept in mine.
May everything in this my being be directed to Thy glory
And may I never despair.
For I am under Thy hand, And in Thee is all power and goodness.
Give me a pure heart that I may see Thee,
A humble heart that I may hear Thee,
A heart of love that I may serve Thee,

A heart of faith that I may abide in Thee. Amen.