Better than perfect

Each day is better than the last! I got in another walk yesterday - this one even included a popsicle in a park and a glass of wine at a friend's house. I had friends from my choir stop by with armloads of gifts and I was completely floored by their generosity and thoughtfulness. I'm eating normally, getting around with greater ease, and keep forgetting to take my pain meds (which means I don't need them as much!). Not everything is perfect, of course - I do have some pain, and have been getting "phantom itches" where it feels like I have a hair or something on the new breast but I can't feel any scratching I do to relieve it. Sometimes after I've been sitting still for a while, I try to get up and can't move. Such was the case this morning...

I woke at 6-something and thought, "I wonder if I could try sleeping on my side a little..." So I rolled over with some pain, but once I was in place, the pain subsided and glory be to God I fell asleep for a while! It was so amazing. But then when I woke up and was ready to get out of bed, I felt like a turtle on her back. Could not move, but to comically wiggle my legs and arms around and try to find some leverage. Michael had already gone to work and my parents would not arrive for another hour. Hmm... With Klaus's moral support and toe licking, and breathing through pain, I finally found my way upright. Success!

Bolstered by my bed-conquering success, I ventured toward not only a shower but, get this, shaving my legs! We're talking big time. I was taking getting ready this morning very seriously because today was the day of my first venture outside of my neighborhood - to the doctor! My plastic surgery post-op. Sure, it was just the doctor, who has seen me at my worst, but I was viewing this as an excuse to wear real clothes, cute shoes, the whole bit. I changed out of my post-mastectomy camisole for the first time in a week. Woo!

After getting ready all by myself - even blow drying my hair and making breakfast! - and even without crying, we headed to the doctor. First I saw the resident, who took out my Drain #2. (Or, as I put it: Drain #2 traded from Team Recovering to Team Health, aka the garbage can.) Very weird thing, having a drain pulled out. It hurt a little, mostly the skin where it was coming out. He snipped the strings holding it in, told me to take a big breath and pulled while I breathed out. Voila! One drain gone! He threw it in the garbage as we said, "Good riddance!" He was hopeful that the second drain could come out as soon as a couple days, maybe Friday, next week at the latest. Woo-hoo! I can't tell you what a relief it is just to have even one of those ugly drains out of my life.

Dr. Langstein came in as the resident was putting a band-aid on the former drain. He immediately said, "It looks beautiful! Perfect! It's better than perfect!" As pleased as I was by his delight, I said, "I'm not sure I'd say beautiful..." He said recovery is measured in weeks, not days, but this was really good progress. He showed me all the good parts of it. "Here's the seam where the muscle ends and the Alloderm [donated dermis] begins, so that will fill in and be less noticeable over time." "This is the other drain, so that will be gone soon." "Some bruising here, but that will go away." "See the line I drew around your original breast so we'd know how far down this one should come? It's just right!" As he showed his excitement and delight, I started to think he was right - my new breast IS beautiful! It has some work yet to do, and having the incision healed a bit more will certainly help, but it certainly has potential.

We also talked about the next steps. He said he could take the port out of the saline implant that's there after he fills me up the rest of the way and I could leave that in there for as long as I like - even until I may decide to do the other breast, then swap out both at the same time. Or I could keep the left always one step ahead of the right. Or I could not think about this right now and just focus on making sure we can get this new breast into my wedding dress! I had expressed great concern about this before, and he is taking my concern very seriously. I joked that I could go try the dress on at David's Bridal (my purchased one is in California, but since it didn't need tailoring, I could try it on off the rack) and then come right to his office for adjustments. He said, "Just bring the dress in here, we'll get a perfect fit!" I chuckled and said, "This is sort of silly... it'll be fine." He said, "It's not silly! We'll make it perfect!" I love him.

And of course, I asked about my tattoo - when can I get it? I've had some friends chip in some bucks, so I'm extra eager now! This was the first I'd told Dr. Langstein about my tattoo plans, and he promptly pulled out his iPhone to show me a picture of one of his patients. She had a large tattoo that covered her whole breast - two leprechauns! He said it used to be one leprechaun, and he'd hoped that after cutting him in half for the mastectomy, he could sew the little man together, but the two halves no longer matched up. So they had a tattoo artist add a bottom to the top half and a top to the bottom half. Hilarious! I loved that he showed me that. He said I could get my tattoo in 4-5 months. Yay!!

Overall, a stellar appointment. He was genuinely delighted by the progress, and it never hurts to hear someone who sees a whole lotta boobs say it looks, "Beautiful... better than perfect!" especially given that he was concerned about how the skin would act. As one friend told me, "A doctor who works with skin told you that you have great skin! It's doesn't get better than that!"