The resident that came in to meet with me first was someone I had met before, and we recognized each other right away. He was actually the one who sewed me up after the more extensive one of my five biopsies, and we had a nice chat about how he met his wife over the pathology table, and he used to coach lacrosse. I remember liking him very much, and when I learned I would have to have a mastectomy, I had hoped I would be referred to him, but I didn't realize he was a resident.
I liked him as much this time as I did the first time. He immediately said, "I think we met in Dr. Skinner's office" and proceeded to ask me about my church, and my husband, and all these details about my life. I was very impressed! It is always good to really like the people performing surgery on you, and to know that I am a person to them, not just another patient.
He pulled out the consent, which said I was having reconstructive surgery "for treatment of an acquired absence of right breast." This struck me as very funny, and I giggled. An acquired absence? Like, I've been running errands all day and I suddenly realized it fell out of my bra, and I have no idea which store I was in when it happened. Like, I'm patting all my pockets looking for the mysteriously absent breast. Like, at roll call Ben Stein kept calling, "Right breast? Right breast? Right breast?" and painful silence was the only response.
When I giggled, the resident smiled at me. "I'm glad you can have a sense of humor about this," he said. "It's funny!" I retorted. He agreed. We went through the rest of the consent with no problems - I knew it all already, so no questions.
Then Dr. L. came in to give his piece. He asked how I was doing, and I said I wasn't thrilled about this, but was eager to get it done with and move on. He agreed that it was the right thing to do. He gave me some more details about what to expect. Nothing extraordinary, until he said, "They won't be identical. We'll get them as close as we can, but it's impossible to match them exactly." I knew this, I really did, but I guess I had convinced myself otherwise. Suddenly, nightmares of boobs pointing in opposite directions came to mind, or one pointing up and the other out, or one cone shaped and the other round. Then when that settled down, it was just the realization that maybe I won't be able to go without a bra, just because I will need it to create symmetry. Drat! Not having to wear a bra was the one thing about this that I was stoked about!
Dr. L. affirmed again the way we had done this, making sure I'd be healthy for the wedding and fit into the dress and all. I asked if he wanted to see pictures of the dress, and whether or not he did he pretended to, and I showed everyone (resident, intern, doctor) a few pictures. The three men oooed and awwwed appropriately. They especially liked the yellow bow tie and the red shoes. I showed the picture of us kissing at the end, and said, "You're covering up the work!" (as if the wedding were all about showing off my nice new boob). This is why I love Dr. L. - because the classic plastic surgeon ego only comes out in obviously joking comments like that.
So, all in all, a fine appointment. I've given my consent all around, and off we go.
In other news, a friend shared these with me:
So, that is hopefully going to happen for my Bye-bye Boobie: Part II party on Friday. Wish me luck!
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