Thankful

I made a mistake in our last church newsletter, some comment about the 2013 budget when I meant the 2014 budget. I explained it to my treasurer, saying, "I guess there is a part of me that thinks next year is 2013 again (please no!!)."

It's true. Normally as Thanksgiving comes around, and then Christmas and New Years, I, like many others, start in on my reflection of the past year. This year, whenever I start into that reliving of the year, every fiber in my body seems to resist it, begging me not to live through it again. Yes, it was a year that included joys as well as challenges, but thinking over 2013 is so exhausting, it makes me want to cry with fatigue.

But it is Thanksgiving, and the fact is, I am extremely grateful for many things about my life and about this year. So I will look back on the year through this mercifully gracious and positive lens, and maybe it will be more bearable. I will list some things, and in no particular order because on any given day I may be more thankful for something than others.

This year, on Thanksgiving, I am thankful...

1) For my doctors who have taken such immensely good care of me - physically, emotionally, and even spiritually - and who caught the cancers persistently growing in my body early enough that all I needed was surgery, and not more extensive treatments.

2) For decent health insurance, without which I would be enduring a stressor I'm not sure I could handle. Holy smokes, I am thankful for health insurance.

3) For a husband who told me last July after my first irregular mammogram that we would get through this together, and has held true to that. He listens to my words and my actions, he lets me cry when needed, speaks when needed and doesn't when not, gets me ice cream when I want it, tells me, "I love you" and "You're beautiful" on a very regular basis, can make me blush, giggle, and gasp with delight with his various antics and surprises, holds my hand, lets me have the more comfortable side of the couch when we watch TV, reminds me to take care of myself, supports and listens to me (even when my stories probably bore him), shows genuine interest in me and what I'm doing, and tells me over and over again how glad and amazed he is that I am his wife.

4) For all of my family and friends who have cried with me and laughed with me through this year, who helped us celebrate our weddings, who sent cards and care packages, who surrounded us with prayer and healing thoughts, who have been at our beck and call for whatever is needed during the year.

5) For two amazing congregations who show me God's love every day, who have been gracious and patient with me and all the time I have had to take off this year, who have fed us and prayed for us and celebrated with us and made us so grateful to be a part of their family.

6) For a dog who never ceases to delight us, who shows us what heaven looks like: sleeping peacefully in the warmth of the sun while cuddled up to the ones you love (whether it's people of a Kong... depends on the moment, I guess!).

7) That I am not only gainfully employed, but that I love my job, and feel privileged to be called to such extraordinary work.

8) That my parents taught me healthy money management, such that two years after obtaining full time work, I was able to purchase the house in which I hope to raise a family.

9) Speaking of parents, that they have had not only the desire and willingness, but also the ability to come and be with me as I have recovered from two major surgeries and help make that healing go more smoothly. And that they are so very generous and loving and have made me want to be the same. And that they gladly helps us pay for our weddings so that we could celebrate with as many of our family and friends as possible, and they helped make those events so beautiful and perfect. And that they are who they are, and have taught me to be who I am. And that I love calling and talking to them.

10) For my brother (and sister-in-law), who as we have grown up have gotten closer and found in each other a friend unlike any other. For having someone to talk to who gets what it is like to grow up as a Johnson (and what it is like to marry a Johnson!). For all the ways they inspire me. For the little girl they are bringing into the world in only a few weeks!

11) For my new family, Michael's family, that they have welcomed me into their lives so lovingly, and have been there for us this year in such important ways. For the chance to get to know them, and learn to love them as my own family.

12) That we have plenty, that our basic needs are met, and many of our wants, and that we still have plenty left over to be able to give away. For the ability to say, without worry, "Yes, I'd love to donate to your cause."

13) For the many women who have had breast cancer before me, who have blazed trails, and helped the medical community learn as much as they have about this disease to know how best to treat it. For their spirit and their willingness to share stories and wisdom, for their love and encouragement. It's not a club anyone wants to be in, but if I have to be in it, and they do too, I'm glad we are in it together.

14) For Rochester, and all its beauty, hidden and apparent. I have loved getting to know this city, and look forward to more discoveries for many years to come.

15) For John and Weesie, my local family, and all the people they have brought into our lives. What a blessing to have such beautiful people - and family members, no less! - so nearby.

16) For the many people who have done little things and big things for us this year - officiating a wedding, helping with yard work, packing or unpacking our home, bringing over a bottle of wine, running errands, providing meals... and so many more things than I could ever name. You know who you are!

17) For Concentus, my wonderful women's choir, who have surrounded me with love and grace and beauty, and given me a heart full of joy every Sunday night. My soul is fed by singing with these women, both by their beautiful voices, and by their beautiful spirits.

18) For music, the ability to enjoy it on many levels, and to create it. For the fact that I share this love and gift with my husband. For the way music brings people together in so many different settings. For the ability to sing or play and feel music coursing through my whole body.

19) For good books and good TV (and even not-as-good books and TV!), which have gotten me through a lot of hours stuck on the couch this year. For Netflix and Hulu and the ability to binge on a TV show and not have to get up and change the channel or anything. Seems silly to include Netflix in a post that includes being thankful for my family and other serious things, but seriously, Netflix has played an important role in my ability to heal.

20) For my faith, my God, and the peace that comes from that. For prayer. For the ability to reflect on my life spiritually, and to share it with you here, and to feel closer to God as a result. For the knowledge that when life is too much to bear, I am not bearing it alone. For the people who have reminded me of how good a God we have (whether they know they did or not). For the abundance I have in so many areas of life, and most of all for the One who has provided it all.

Thanks be to God!