Married life is great.
Life since being married has been crazy.
And it started off with a bang, to be sure, and probably in the most appropriate way for a pastor and her new husband.
I have been trying for a week to digest the past week and a half, but I haven't had time! I've scarcely had a moment off since before my vacation time officially ended. So I'm just going to start writing... and see what happens.
We arrived home from our honeymoon in the wee hours of Thursday morning. We enjoyed, well, half a night's sleep in our new home as a married couple, and had a leisurely Thursday morning, got some things done, and enjoyed each other's company. At some point during the day, I learned that the sister (S.) of one of my parishioners had suffered a heart attack. This is a family I know and love and had gotten fairly close to through many conversations about some other stuff going on in their lives. S had visited several times, and had been in with her daughter recently to talk about said daughter's upcoming wedding (in November). By 5pm, S. was being transfered to a different hospital for emergency surgery. Michael's and my dinner plans went by the wayside and I headed for the hospital. After S. was safely in surgery, I left the family with my deacon, because I had to prepare to leave in the morning for my friend's wedding in the Boston area (I was presiding). But around midnight, I got the dreaded text: S. had just passed away. As soon as my phone buzzed and Michael heard my soft, "Ohhh," he said, "Are you heading back to the hospital?" "Yes." So I rolled out of bed, got dressed, and off I went.
After spending a couple of hours with the shocked and grieving family at the hospital, I returned home, about 2am. I crawled back into our bed, trying to be quiet, but Michael was awake.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. Just sad."
"I've been awake since you left. Been thinking about you and them."
This touched me. I didn't take it as a complaint, and I know it wasn't. It was simply my dear husband, expressing that his heart had been with me and with these members of his church family during a difficult night. I felt supported, and loved. I felt deeply grateful to him and for him. And as I crawled into bed and nuzzled up next to him, and his arm went around me, I felt safe. I told him about what had happened, and how I was feeling. I simply processed the evening with him, and he loved me through it, and then we fell asleep.
On the one hand, we spent our first full night in our house as a married couple apart, with me at the hospital. On the other hand, we spent our first night at home as a married couple truly experiencing what our life together will be. Both of us are dedicated to our professional calling, yet absolutely dedicated to and supportive of each other, and willing to do what it takes to allow both our professional vocations and our vocations as each other's spouses to be an integral part of our marriage.
More craziness has happened since all that - my friend's wedding, the journey to which included a missed turn and a road trip twice as long as it should have been (11 hours instead of 6), two funerals, planning two other weddings (neither of which were our Rochester event), Vacation Bible School, a congregational picnic/joint worship, and oh yeah, trying desperately to get our house into some semblance of order before our next wedding in two weeks (wait, what?). I am, frankly, exhausted, more tired than I think I have ever been, and Michael as well. But we continue to love each other more each day, and make each other smile, and take care of each other even in our fatigue. And we are more grateful for each other each day. And having started out our married lives the way we did, I am only more confident that we are a partnership that can and will work.
Thanks be to God for my Michael.
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