What's in a name?

Michael and I found out several weeks ago now that we are having a baby GIRL. A lot of people

said, "I missed the announcement!" Well, you didn't miss it, because we never actually made it. We had plans for some sort of reveal, but it never happened. But, right after we knew she was a girl, we also already had a name for her. Below is the letter I wrote to her after that ultrasound, telling her about the meaning and significance of her name. Here it is:

April 3, 2015

(Good Friday)

To my sweet daughter,

Today we found out that you are a daughter! A sweet, wonderful, amazing little girl, growing just as you should be. I would have been delighted either way, of course (after all, it worked well for me to 

have an older brother and to be the younger sister), but I was happy you are a girl, because it meant that we could give you the very special name we had picked out: Grace Victoria.

I wanted to tell you a bit about why this name is so special. Your dad and I knew it was the right name, because as we were trying out different combinations of names several weeks ago, as soon as we said this one out loud, we both said, “Yup, that’s it,” as if it just clicked into place. When you know, you know!

One very obvious reason your name is special is that it is a family name. Your Grandma Marilyn has “Grace” as her middle name, and your grandma has been such a rock for your dad through the various struggles he has faced in his life. It was important to him to name a daughter after this important woman in his life. It is also the name of your paternal great-grandma (your dad’s dad’s mom). It is also, I learned, the name of my mom’s favorite great-aunt. So there is heritage there!

Victoria is also a family name on my side. It is the name of my dad’s sister. One very cool thing about Aunt Vicki is that many years ago, when I was just a little girl, she got really, really sick and almost died, but she managed to come through and live a very full life, even though her illness left her legally blind. She is a very strong woman, as I know you will be. It is also your dad’s very favorite name, a name he has always wanted to name a daughter.

But our reasons for choosing this name run even more deeply than that. The concept of grace is an important one for our faith – we hope to instill in you, too, the belief that our God is a gracious one, who loves us and provides for us and forgives us not because we have done something to deserve it, but because that is how amazing our God is. We have felt that grace so strongly the past three years,

as I have battled cancer. As it turns out, your due date, August 24, is the anniversary of the day I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. Every health decision I have made since that day in 2012 was with the hope of you in mind. The possibility of having you someday is what buoyed my spirits and kept me strong through the experience. Through the whole ordeal, we were simply surrounded by grace – both human and divine – as we were loved and provided for and prayed for. Never have I felt the grace and love of God so strongly as during that time, and for you to be born (well, due!) on the anniversary of when it all started seems so beautifully full circle.

I kept an avid blog throughout that time, and many people found it very helpful in their own journeys, whatever they may be. Many people encouraged me to turn it into a book. I may do that, but I always responded, “I don’t feel like the story is over yet. I will feel like I have beat cancer when I am holding a baby in my arms. That is when I will know this is over.” Throughout that time, I never felt my life was threatened, that I wouldn’t make it, but I did feel that my hopes of motherhood were. Holding you would mean cancer couldn’t take that from me. And so, you are Victoria. You are that hope of victory fulfilled, you are that experience of grace. You are the joy that I have sought to reclaim since that first irregular mammogram.

Grace Victoria, you are already a gift to us. Every little kick of yours that I feel is a reminder that God brought us through something terrifically difficult, and that we are indeed surrounded by God’s grace in all things. Bless you, my sweet little girl.

                                                                        Love, Mama

Made for Grace by Michael's cousin, Catherine.