Christmas Eve 2015
I came
across a comic this year that made me laugh out loud because it hit so close to
home. In it, a woman clearly meant to be the new mother, Mary, is talking to a
young boy with a drum, who is ready to play a little rump-a-pum-pum for the
baby. She says, “I appreciate the thought, but I just got Jesus to sleep.”
It gives a
little comical insight into what it was like for those new parents. There is
not much written about Mary and Joseph’s experience in those first few weeks of
Jesus’ life, but the topic has been the fascination of mystics and theologians
for centuries. I’ve been thinking a lot about it myself this year, for the
obvious reason that I have recently gone through the birthing process and
managed a newborn myself.
But I especially thought about it
during this year’s nativity pageant. As many of you know, St. Martin put on a
pageant this year, and the Rehbaums were selected to play the holy family. And
so, yours truly donned a white robe and Mary’s signature blue veil, and walked
the walk and talked the talk of Mary. After so many years of hearing and
telling this story, this allowed me to experience it in a new way. Kneeling in
prayer, I heard the angel’s announcement that I would bear God’s own son, and
my hand instinctively moved to my belly, imagining this truth. I stood with Joseph
(aka Michael) in the crowd as we heard the centurion deliver the decree that we
must travel to Bethlehem, and I remembered the fatigue I felt late in pregnancy
just from walking to the kitchen, let alone 70 miles. I
felt anxious as Joseph
and I debated whether we should even bother knocking on the door of the inn
with the sign that said, “No vacancy.” I waited in desperation for the
innkeeper and his wife to figure out where they could put this pregnant lady,
and smiled with relief when they said they had room in a stable. And I waddled
my pregnant bones down the steps toward our makeshift stable, grabbed my own
young Grace, and laid her in a manger – then grimaced at the prospect of
letting her stay there, and picked her back up. While Joseph and I kept our
holy spots in that stable, we sang to Grace, stroked her and bounced her, and
when she started to cry we discreetly checked her diaper, and bounced her some
more, and whispered soothing things in her ear, and let her suck on my pinky… and
finally took her someplace more comfortable so the show could go on without
distraction.
Of course, Mary and Joseph didn’t
have that last option. The stable was it for them. They were stuck with a
manger instead of a rocking, vibrating bassinet, and bands of cloth instead of
a cozy, zip-up fleece sleeper and an assortment of beautiful handmade blankets,
and lowing cattle instead of an iTunes playlist with carefully chosen songs. They
were stuck with this newborn baby boy, with no experience, no conveniences, and
presumably no clue what to do next.
My heart
goes out to Mary and Joseph, trying to figure out how to parent this child
under the worst of circumstances. Joseph being unable to get proper paternity
leave and Mary fretting about her milk supply or fitting into her jeans were
the least of their worries, as Jesus literally had his bed eaten out from under
him by his bovine roommates.
But
even more, this year I find myself wondering: Why on earth would God decide to
come to us this way?! To two faithful but inevitably faulty parents, with no
clue what they were doing, and in such crude circumstances? As my friend who
recently had her first child said, “Everyday, new
aspects of parenting daunt me. Everyday I have to ask for help. I rely on
others to care for me... Sometimes, I feel as tender as a newborn myself.” And
God entrusted the Savior of the world into the arms of two such parents?
Such
a tender, vulnerable being, in such unpracticed arms. As someone who has spent
many, many hours the past three months doing absolutely everything for another
human being – feeding her, burping her, carrying her from place to place,
dressing her, wiping her cute little behind – this reality that we celebrate
tonight baffles me: the King of Kings, the Prince of Peace, the Wonderful
Counselor, Almighty God… come as a baby?
And even before he gets to the vulnerable baby stage – did God not know how
risky getting there was, how many things can go wrong with a pregnancy, not to
mention labor and delivery? How likely it was that Mary would die in
childbirth, like so many women did in that time? Entering the world by way of
childbirth was not only an incredibly messy choice on God’s part, but also a
terribly dangerous one, in which too many things could go wrong.
But
having recently gone through this myself, I have to say… I can’t imagine the
incarnation happening any other way. Some traditions say that Mary’s labor was
quick and painless, even that she immediately resumed her pre-pregnancy figure
as Jesus happily nursed (having had no trouble, of course, with that initial
latch). I find this possibility frustrating and annoying. If I’m going to worship
an incarnate deity, a God who is willing to become human, I want – I need – God to go all the way. The thing
is, life starts with pain. Every one of us here today came into the world
through pain and mess and fear. Since that messy day of our birth, the pain and
mess and fear of life have changed and evolved, but they have always remained a
part of the human experience. If God is going to be truly human, God has to
have experienced the whole kit and caboodle, including the risk, and the fear
and pain of birth, and the vulnerability that follows.
Because
if God was willing to share that experience with us humans, then I can truly
believe that God means it – that God is willing to get down with us in the
darkest, messiest, scariest moments of life, that God loves us enough to want
to understand, that God cares enough not to bypass any part of the human
experience, especially not the scariest, most demanding, and most vulnerable
parts, even if that means coming into the world to the sound of groans and
screams, and being clumsily fed by a young teenage mother, and inexpertly
swaddled by a novice father. God came on that night and continues to come this
night and every night into all the mess and fear of life.
Ted
Loder tells about an encounter he had during a rough patch in his life: his
mother was dying, his dad depressed, his marriage hanging on by a thread, his
kids angry about it, and his professional life on the rocks. One night, as he
walked down Lombard St. in Philadelphia to
meet his daughter for coffee shortly
before Christmas, he saw a home that had dedicated their entire front window to
an elaborate nativity scene. He was quite taken with it. But as he looked more
closely he noticed two curious things: first, that all the characters seemed to
be looking right at him, standing out there on the street; and second, to his
surprise, that there was in fact no manger in this scene! He writes, “There was
no manger, no infant Jesus in the window! In effect, the street was the manger,
and I was standing in it.” He goes on, “I stood there with tears in my eyes.
With a force that lumped in my throat, I realized that just where I was
standing, the Christmas miracle happens. In the street, where human traffic
goes endlessly by, where men and women and children live and limp and play and
cry and laugh and love and fight and worry and curse and praise and pray and
die, just there Christmas keeps coming silently, insistently, mysteriously.” (Tracks in the Straw)
Just there –
in all the fears and joys and sorrows and mess and beauty and vulnerability of
life – just there, the Christmas miracle came that night in the form of a
teenage mother giving birth in a stable to an audience of sheep and cattle, and
it continues to come to us, in whatever situation our life finds us in this
year. God cares enough to do that. God loves enough to do that, tonight, and
every night.
Let us pray…
Everlasting God, you came into this world
by humble means, showing us the extent of your love for us. When we feel
overcome by the fear and pain of the world, make your extensive love known to
us again, and again, as you come into whatever darkness we may be feeling. In
the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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