Sunday, January 2, 2022

Wearing One Dress is a Matter of Faith

 In a previous post, I described what made me want to wear the same dress for 100 days. I wanted to go more in depth about why this challenge is also a matter of faith for me. 


1) Joy! I mentioned this in my last post, and want to elaborate. I see a spiritual director every month (yes, even pastors need direction in their spiritual lives!), and one recurring theme in my sessions with her is how easily I let All The Things get in the way of feeling joy. We often talk about this in terms of how joy is felt in my body. I would describe not-joy as feeling burdened and closed, and joy I would describe as feeling free and at peace. One day a couple months ago, my spiritual director said to me, "That feeling of wholeness and joy - that is your natural state. It is God's intention for you. Follow that joy." It hit me like a sudden burst of warm air. Why was this such a shock to me? After all, I knew it in my head; I just didn't practice it in my life. I have since become more aware of what gives me a sense of that joy, and what doesn't, taking cues from how things feel in my body. I watch for things especially that make me feel that burden and tightness, and have realized that getting dressed is one of them. It's strange, because I'm pretty comfortable in my body, and I don't hate the way I look or feel in my clothes. They just weren't bringing me joy. I kept finding myself longing for something different, as I gazed into my drawers and closet and thought, "I don't want to wear any of this." So every day, I was starting my day with something that felt decidedly un-joyful, which set the tone for the rest of my day. How is that living into God's intention for me? It is not! Well, once one thinks enough times, "I wish I had a comfy dress I could just wear over leggings. Dresses make me feel pretty, fun, and comfy," it becomes pretty obvious what one should do next! I boxed up a bunch of clothes I hardly wear, and left the ones that make me smile, and now getting dressed each day is peaceful and joy-filled. And I feel much more like I'm living into God's intention for me. Plus, wearing a dress really does make me feel lighter and pretty!

2) Rebuke of fast fashion. This is the motivation for many of the participants in the challenge: it's an effort to rebuke fast fashion, as well as "live more with less." If you are unfamiliar with the impact of fast fashion on the environment, read more here, but basically, fast fashion is the rapid production of new, cheaply made clothes to keep up with whatever we are told is in style, and because these clothes are cheaply made, they don't last and need to be replaced frequently. Instead of investing in pieces that will last, we are told to get the latest fashion, then we find said fashion "for a great price!" and then a couple years later we send those cheap clothes (that we barely even wore) to the garbage heap or the thrift store, which frequently is ultimately also the garbage heap. All this production, shipping, and disposal does massive harm to the environment, from the chemicals involved (which especially harm those working in factories under unethical conditions, so this is also a love of neighbor issue!), to the carbon footprint (producing more CO2 than air travel and shipping combined), to the microfibers in waterways and oceans, to the amount of water used to produce and then care for these items (some 80% of the carbon footprint of our clothes is our laundering of them)... you get the idea. 

Enter well-made merino wool dress. It can be worn more times (not quickly replaced), requires owning less clothing overall, is a natural fiber, and doesn't need to be washed as frequently because the wool does not hold odors (on day 40, I just washed mine for only the second time, after my muddy dog sat on my lap). Many who do this challenge pare down their wardrobes considerably afterwards, vow to buy only sustainable clothing that is ethically made, or limit their purchases to thrift and consignment shops, and commit not to give into the latest new fashion. Fast fashion hurts God's creation; as a matter of faith, I want as little part in that harm as is possible.

3) Consider the lilies of the field. Or, We are enough. To elaborate a bit further on the fast fashion piece, advertising and the media tell us each year that we must look a certain way and buy certain clothes in order to fit in and be stylish and thus succeed and be well thought of in society. This could not be more contrary to God's intention for us. God created us as good. We are enough. If the lilies of the field aren't worried about being beautiful and enough, why should we be worried? While society has convinced us we must look or dress a certain way, the truth is that most people don't even notice what we wear. There is something in psychology called "the spotlight effect," which is the belief (and resulting anxiety) that people notice our behavior and how we look more than they really do. Some people doing this challenge have noted that even their own family members didn't notice they were wearing the same dress. One friend of mine interviewed for a job during her challenge, wearing the same dress for all three interviews, and she is now the associate dean at a seminary. The sooner we can shed the belief that our enough-ness and beloved-ness is dependent on us looking how someone tells us we should, the sooner we can live into the belief that God loves us just as we are, and that we are enough. (That said: don't get the impression these dresses aren't good-looking. People look fantastic in these dresses and style it all kinds of ways! But they are doing it with items they already own, seeking to find their particular "look," rather than always seeking elsewhere.)

4) My own personal growth. On a more personal note, one thing I struggle with is that I have such a desire to do things right or "correctly," that I am sometimes hesitant to engage in them. I stay in my comfort zone, worried about messing up. This is something that I think keeps me safe, but in fact, it keeps me from joy (see above!). So one of my spiritual practices is making sure I'm always trying to do something that puts me a little out of my comfort zone, and that I won't always do "perfectly." A challenge like this is not something that I look at and think, "Oh, I'll knock that out of the park!" I scares me just enough to tell me that this is something that will keep in check my need for control in the form of doing all things well. There is a wonderful group on Facebook of people who are doing this challenge, and it is an incredibly uplifting and encouraging group, so that when I'm starting to feel like, "Uuuugh I'm not doing this as well as I want to..." I can reach out there and hear, "You look great! Keep going!" There, participants are routinely reminded of their beauty and belovedness, no matter their age or body type or style. It is a beautiful community that continually affirms all of the above points.

There is more, but these are the main pillars. Being motivated by my faith certainly gives me the strength to continue another 60 days - at least!

Dear God, you created us good, and we are beloved and enough in your eyes. Thank you for the many ways you remind us of that, and let us never stray from a deep knowledge of this fact. Help us to be mindful of our neighbors and of your creation, seeking always to care for both, and guide our attention to the many ways you provide for us to experience joy, even in our most mundane tasks. Amen.

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