To the saints in my life...

God reacted to my anger and disapproval at this development in my life by throwing so many wonderful people in my path that I can't help but respond with joy. So I wanted to write a post about the various saints in my life.

Saint Skinner:
This is my surgeon, with whom we met this morning. From the first moment we met her back in July, we have liked her so much. She is honest, understanding, sympathetic, funny, knowledgeable - everything you could possibly want in a doctor. (We told the resident who was tagging along today that if there was one thing to learn from her, it is her bedside manner. She is wonderful!) We left today's appointment feeling better than we have in days - we don't have all that much more information, but just having spoken with her, processed with her, not felt at all like she was shooing us out even though we kept asking questions we have asked before, we just feel better. (If every doctor's appointment could make you leave feeling better!) I can write a separate post about our next steps, but for now: I am so grateful for Dr. Skinner.

Saint Michael:
Obviously. Where would I be without my rock? I said to a friend several months ago now, "I think I can handle a mastectomy... but I can only handle it knowing that Michael is there beside me." I know he is having a very hard time with this for a host of reasons that I won't share because it is his story, not mine, but the biggest is that it is very hard to see someone you love so much be in so much pain.  And yet he is solid, present, honest, loving, sympathetic, self-aware, faithful, perceptive - all the things I could possibly want in a partner. I could not be more grateful for Michael.

Saint Luke:
My brother. Luke and I weren't terribly close growing up, but got closer as we both became adults, and now share that special relationship that you only can with someone who grew up in the same household. He has been loving and supportive all along in his quiet way, but I have been especially overwhelmed by this with this most recent news. He called me the night of diagnosis and said many wonderful things, including, "If anyone can make this into something positive and inspirational, it's you, and I know you will continue to inspire people just like you have since you were 16 and before. You're amazing, your blog is incredible, and it has already helped more people than you even know. You're amazing." I said I wasn't in the mood to believe all that at that moment, so I'd just let him believe it for me, and he said, "I will, and when you do believe it, I'll just keep on believing it, too." Luke is a fine writer and wrote a touching blog about my current predicament (though I warn, where my blog's title cleverly avoided actually using any expletives, he attempted no such avoidance!). I am grateful for Luke.

Saints Mom and Dad:
I would be remiss not to mention my dear parents, who have gotten the prayer chains going, checked in on me as much as possible from 3000 miles away, and have been wonderful sounding boards at various points of my discernment and emotional roller-coaster. My dad is often my first call after doctor's appointments, while mom is still at work. Mom gets all kinds of emotion dumped on her, even as we make each other laugh. They are very special people, my parents! I am grateful for them!

Saint Linda:
Better known as "Aunt Linda at the Honda dealership." What. A. Sweetheart. When I walked in for my car's appointment today, she came right over and gave me a big, long hug. "First: how are you doing?? I've been thinking about you so much!" She has been thinking about me all week, she said, but almost nonstop since our conversation yesterday. She almost just called me to make sure I was okay. She said she cried some tears for me. She wanted all the details (her mom is a breast cancer survivor, too). She was relieved to hear how treatable it is, that I'm going to be fine. "I'm sure everyone who meets you loves you because, well, you're awesome!" she said. She wants so much for us to have a lovely wedding. I said since I will have to have surgery before the wedding date, we might do a quickie wedding, maybe up at Niagara Falls. She said excitedly, "Do you want to use my friends and family discount for Marriott Falls View??" She worked there 10 years and still gets the discount. She was SO excited to do this for me. "That's my job today: take care of Johanna! You don't deserve all this, so I want to do whatever I can to make it a little better!" Oh my gosh, what a sweetheart. I am totally going to send her an invitation to the Rochester wedding. I'm grateful for Linda, who has made what is normally such a drag (Big Expensive Car Check-up) an experience so full of joy.

So Many Others:
Really, there are too many saints in my life to name. People are good. Really. I walked into my office yesterday to find a huge bouquet of flowers on my desk, sent to me by a seminary friend - not even a close friend at that! A friend whom I like, and with whom I share a mutual admiration, but not someone I've really kept in touch with. She called me after my first diagnosis just to say she was sorry and praying for me. But this time - flowers! They are gracing my dining room table. Another seminary friend who lives in Rochester sent me a coupon for a massage. My aunt and uncle invited me over for dinner this weekend, "Just so we can be together." At council on Monday, I wasn't much in the mood to lead us in prayer or devotion, and a lay person to whom I had divulged this earlier piped up, "I can pray! I've got something prepared!" Later when I thanked her, she said, "I've got your back." All of you who have read and participated in my silly posts, have written me personal messages in whatever form... all of this has meant so much to me. I am grateful for you.