The gift of time

If you read my sermon from yesterday, you know that I used an Epiphany idea from a friend of mine called "Star gifts." The congregation was very receptive to it, and several people talked to me after worship about what their gift was, and added, "This is just right for me right now." That Holy Spirit certainly has a way with things.

As for me, I had the same experience. After the second service, I took the leftover stars to my office and just picked up the one on top to serve as my star gift. It was TIME. And I'll echo the words of my parishioners: This was just right for me right now.

I have already done some thinking about my goals for this year. I stand by what I said before. But now I am also thinking about them through this Spirit-gift lens of time. If I am to understand my time as a gift from God, how do I use it differently? How do I use it the same? What if I understood it as belonging to God, on loan to me, as we sometimes talk about with stewardship (all that we have belongs to God)? How then would I want to use it?

I have a few thoughts about that. First of all, if I consider time as belonging to God, then it makes me want to take my vocation very seriously. I don't mean being a pastor - that does happen to be my particular vocation, but I mean what-I'm-called-to-do more generally. So if I were a teacher, I would more intentionally recognize that I am gifted with the ability to teach others, and so when I spend time doing that, I am using God's time to God's glory. Same goes for being a doctor, a musician, a janitor, a security guard, or even a parent, a spouse, a friend.

The next thing I think about is wasting time. Who wants to waste a gift? So this ties into my previously stated goals, because when I think about them, they mostly come down to spending my time more intentionally. I sometimes think, "I don't have enough time for this or that..." when really, I think I do. Michael and I often stay up late doing nothing in particular (actually, usually watching our favorite TV shows), because we are so beat from the day. Well, what if we went to bed 45 minutes earlier, and then woke up 45 minutes earlier? I could then start my day with a walk and some devotional time, rather than rushing to get out the door. And that time, spent caring for my body and for my spirit, might just help to center and focus the rest of my day. What a concept!

(This is, however, not as easy as it sounds. I tried last night... and ended up turning out the light about an hour later than usual! What??)

The last thought I wanted to share regarding my star gift of time is regarding the too-frequently uttered phrase, "I'm busy." How often, when someone asks how you are, do you say, "Busy"? I have a friend who gave up saying "busy" for Lent, and I thought that was brilliant. Because what does "I'm busy" say to the person you are talking to? It could say, "I'm too busy to talk to you." Or it could have the underlying sense, "I'm busy, which means I'm very important." I know many clergy who (unintentionally) wear their busy-ness as a badge of honor, as if it proves what good pastors they are. "Just look how much time I spend serving God!" In reality, it's the fast track to burn-out.

Whether or not "I'm busy" means either of those things, the fact is: no one cares. Everyone is busy. We all work hard. No one thinks he has enough time in the day. So why tell other people about it as if it your unique problem? One of the things we love about my surgeon is that she never gives the impression that she has to get going to something else; she seems to have all the time in the world to answer our questions. I want people to get that impression from me. I don't want to always seem rushed. I want to feel and act like I have the gift of time. So one thing I will be considering this year is how I can do that.

Those are some preliminary thoughts on time. I'm hoping there will be more to come!