Why I love/hate Christmas

I was having lunch with some pastor friends last week, and though we were enjoying each other's company immensely, the week-before-Christmas stress among us was palpable. I commented to an audience I knew would understand, "I liked Christmas a lot more before I was a pastor." They all agreed.

Since I said it, I have been unpacking that in my mind. I recently read this essay by Krista Tippett of On Being, on why she doesn't "do Christmas," and it got me thinking. I agreed with a lot of what she said, but would say it differently. I realized that while there are some things I hate about Christmas, the heart of it (the incarnation piece) I still love, more and more each year. Let me explain.

The first thing I don't love about Christmas is how much of it feels obligatory. Of course, there is the gift giving, and making sure everyone you love has "enough" gifts, and the stress of, "What can I get for So-and-So," when frankly, So-and-So doesn't need a darn thing, and so by getting So-and-So another thing, all you're really doing is giving So-and-So more stuff to deal with. I have started giving people gifts for other people through ELCA Good Gifts or similar, a gift which some people love but with which other people are not all that impressed. I don't care either way - I feel better about that than about contributing to people's overcrowded houses.

Another thing I don't love is Christmas kitsch: all that cheapo stuff that either gets tossed at the end of the season or at best clutters people lawns and lives. In a season when we are supposed to be "preparing him room" and "preparing the way of the Lord," what do we do but drag a bunch more stuff into our lives. I never liked Christmas kitsch, but pictures of Santa's real workshop in China put me over the edge. I hate that I participate in this when I buy cheap wrapping paper and ribbons, but I also love beautifully wrapped packages, so... I'm not perfect, all right? While I don't love kitsch, I do love beautiful, timeless, hand crafted Advent/Christmas decor. My house is full of hand-carved angels, homemade stockings, fair trade items... These are things that help me to remember the saints around the world who also are welcoming the Christ child, and I know that someone didn't have to breathe red glitter to make them.

Fair trade nativity, German transparancy, and in background,
an angel my mom quilted.

I don't love how secular Christmas is, or rather, how conflated secular Christmas has become with religious Christmas. So, I like Christmas parties, I like snowmen and reindeer, I like Deck the Halls, but I don't like that when I go to the store to get a nice Christmas card for someone, all I can find on a wall of cards is maybe 10 religious themed ones, and many of those way too schmaltzy for my taste. Can we be honest and less sentimental about what Christmas means? Why can I not find more cards that say, "A light shines in the darkness," or, "God came into the world in a way we could understand - what joy!" or, "May the peace, hope, and joy proclaimed by the angels be yours this season," or even simply, "Joy to the world!"

I'm probably gonna get some flack for this one, but I don't love that "Christmas is about being with those you love." No, it isn't. It's about Jesus. Spending time with people you love is certainly one of the wonderful things that happens at Christmas; having spent one Christmas in a country far away from anyone I know, I can vouch for how important this is. I cried that whole Christmas without my family nearby. But that is not what it is about.

Which brings me to what I DO still love about Christmas. I recently sang with my wonderful women's choir John Rutter's setting of Dancing Day. Part of the text: "Then was I born of a virgin pure, of her I took fleshly substance. Thus was I knit to man's nature, to call my true love to my dance... This have I done for my true love." And, like I often do when I sing Christmas music, I started to cry. That's amazing, is it not? First of all, this whole song is a love song from God to us, with the recurring refrain, "This have I done for my true love." God loves us so much that he came down to be with us, to be knit to our nature for better or worse, and to call us into God's dance, to be a part of the love and joy that is God's nature, just as God has come into what is often the pain and brokenness of our nature. WOW.

What I do love about Christmas is that is falls on Dec. 25, four days after the winter solstice. I know that in reality, Jesus was likely born in the spring or summer, when it would have been realistic for shepherds to be living in the fields with their sheep. But is not right after the winter solstice the perfect time to celebrate a light shining in the darkness? All during Advent we have come closer and closer to the darkest day of the year, and this is often a time of year that is dark in our lives, despite the abundance of Christmas lights. And now, just as we experience the days getting longer again, we celebrate that a light has come to shine in the darkness tonight and always. God will always be present in our darkness.

This, the promise of light in our darkness and the possibility that God could love us enough to come down and bring us into God's love, joy, peace, and hope - in short, the incarnation - is what I still love about Christmas, and what I continue to love more and more each year I experience it. There are some other things I really like (my sparkling Christmas tree, the abundant opportunities to give not only to loved ones but to strangers in need, the excuse to make delicious goodies and have fun parties, the meaningful traditions that evolve around the holiday), but all pale in comparison to the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, lying in a manger that dark night, bringing light and hope into the world.