Pentecost 4C
June 12, 2016
2 Samuel 11:26-12:10, 13-15
Luke 7:36-8:1-3
This past
week we had our Upstate New York Synod Assembly, the annual gathering of the
ELCA churches in Upstate NY in which we make business decisions, learn about
and discuss the mission of the Church and the ways that mission is being
carried out, and worship and have fellowship together. It is always an
incredibly fulfilling but also very draining few days, because it involves your
time, your head, and your heart. This year that was especially the case, as we
tackled together the topic of racial justice. These were hard conversations to
have, because not everyone was on the same page about whether there even is a
racial justice problem, and if there is, what it looks like and how it should
be addressed.
One of the more difficult topics for
many of us to wrap our heads around, as good, Christian, caring people who also
happen to be white, was the concept of white privilege – that is, the
possibility that people who are white have some inherent privilege and
opportunities simply because they were born white. The very phrase made many of
us feel like our accomplishments and even our good works were being undermined
and disregarded simply because we are white. But the more we talked, the more I
started to notice the different ways we respond to people based simply on their
physical appearance – whether that is skin color, dress, height, weight, etc.
For example, watching the outrage from many people this week about this
20-year-old Stanford student from Ohio who raped an unconscious girl get less
than the minimum sentence because he had no previous offenses and such a bright
future… I found myself wondering, coming off the tails of Synod Assembly, how
that story would have played out differently if he had all the same
qualifications except that he was black instead of white. With a pit in my
stomach, I realized that people would probably be less likely to give him the
benefit of the doubt, and more likely to dismiss him as just another thug who
didn’t deserve leniency.
Whether that’s true or not, or
whether you believe white privilege exists or not, the fact is that we do make
assumptions about people – based on their appearance, yes, as well as a number
of other factors. Sometimes those assumptions are good – people assumed the
young man from Ohio was really a good person who made a mistake because look,
he’s a champion swimmer and he wants to be a surgeon. And sometimes they are
bad – like when we see someone begging for food and assume they are unmotivated
to get their lives back on track. Assumptions about other people – about their
character, about the intentions behind their words and actions, about their
background – happen daily in our lives. We make them about others, and others
make them about us. And once an assumption is made, the result is too often a string
of gossip that perpetuates half-truths and hurts people along the way.
Of course, we are not the first
generation to fall to the temptation to make assumptions about other people. We
see it all over scripture. In today’s Gospel lesson, we see a woman who was
from the city and was a sinner. What did you assume was her sin? It never says
so, yet throughout time, people have assumed she was a prostitute. When she
starts weeping upon Jesus’ feet and wiping the tears with her hair, and Jesus
allows it, those gathered assume Jesus isn’t a prophet, because if he was,
wouldn’t he know that such a sinful woman as she shouldn’t be doing this? They
assume a woman of her sinful nature couldn’t possibly be offering such an act
merely out of love and gratitude for Jesus. Assumption after assumption causes
judgment upon judgment in this story, when in reality, her intentions are to
show her love, and Jesus’ intentions are to show mercy and forgiveness on
someone who was, he knew, a sinner who would truly be healed by such mercy and forgiveness.
It’s easy enough to point out other
people’s false assumption – but it is much harder to see when we are the ones
making assumptions, to see our own sins. We see this in today’s Old Testament
reading, the classic story in which the prophet Nathan tells King David a
parable that enlightens David’s sins against first Bathsheba, and then against
her husband, Uriah. (In case you don’t know the story: David sees Bathsheba
bathing on the roof and lusts for her, and takes her for himself. When he
finds
out he is married to Uriah, who is away at war, David arranges for Uriah to be
killed in battle, so he can have Bathsheba for himself. It was not David’s
finest moment!) When Nathan tells David this parable, David can see so clearly in
the story the sins being committed – in fact he condemns the man – but when
Nathan tells him in no uncertain terms, “You are the man! You are the one who
has committed these heinous sins!” David is shocked. He had not been able to
see his own sin until Nathan held a mirror before him.
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| David and Nathan, by Jacob Backer "You are the man!" |
Sometimes we need someone to do that,
to hold up that mirror and show us, “Hey, what you’re doing here is not what
God intended.” The very first time I ever confessed verbally in the presence of
someone else (a difficult but very cleansing practice that I recommend!), I
struggled to name specific sins I had committed. The pastor suggested I
consider my sins in light of the 10 commandments. God gave them to us for a
reason, after all. In the case of making assumptions and judgments about our
neighbor, the commandment to turn to is the 8th: “You shall not bear
false witness against your neighbor.” What is especially helpful is referring
to Luther’s interpretation of this commandment in the Small Catechism. He
writes: “We are to fear and love God, so that we do not tell lies about our
neighbors, betray or slander them, or destroy their reputations. Instead, we
are to come to their defense, speak well of them, and interpret everything they
do in the best possible light.” I don’t know about you, but reading that is for
me one of those three-sided full length mirrors in the Target dressing room,
the ones that show you way more than you really wanted to see. It’s one thing
to follow that first part – I’m generally fairly good about not telling lies
about people or betraying or slandering them.
But that second part is so much
harder, and I so much more often fall short: “come to their defense” – so, when someone else says anything bad
about them, don’t say, “Really? What else?” but instead, “That’s not been my
experience with that person.” “Speak well
of them” – so, come up with something nice to say instead. “And interpret everything they do in the best
possible light.” Ah, this one is the key. How easy it is for us, especially
those of us who have been hurt, to jump to the worst scenario, to assume people
intend the worst, and so we get ready to fight and defend ourselves. It is
self-preservation, really: why would we trust someone when trusted people have
hurt us in the past? If we approach on the defensive, we won’t get hurt again.
Safest to assume the worst until they’ve proven themselves otherwise.
But is that really the safest option?
Is it the most faithful? Does it follow the 8th commandment?
Let’s try a little exercise. Think of
a person about whom you have made a negative assumption. Perhaps it is an
assumption about their character, or their education level, their personality,
or their intentions. Maybe it was a stranger in Wegmans, maybe someone you work
with, maybe someone you met at a party, maybe even someone in this room. Think,
what was the assumption you made about them?
Consider what it was that made you
make that assumption. Was it the way they look? Their age? Something they said?
How did you react to it? Did you yell? Complain about them later? Avoid them?
Consider now why you made the
assumption you did. This is different from what they did. Think now about why
you responded the way you did. Is it because you have seen that way of
dressing/talking/acting before, and its outcome, and suppose this time will be
the same? Is it because you feel threatened somehow by the person, and making a
negative assumption about them will make you feel stronger in their presence?
Is it because you are protecting yourself, or someone else you love?
Now think again about that action of
theirs that caused you to make an assumption. Rather than assuming something
negative in response to it, what would “the best possible light” look like? I
mean, what if you assumed the best instead of the worst? For example, you
encounter someone in Wegmans who, when you reach beside her to grab some bananas,
starts yelling at you. Your initial assumption was, “Goodness, that person is very
mean. She probably doesn’t have any friends, because she isn’t a very good
person.” The best construction on that encounter might instead be, “This person
must be bearing a lot in her life and be really hurting or overwhelmed to have
so little patience right now. Maybe she has had a really bad day.”
With that new perspective on this
person, how do you view them differently? And, are you inclined to act
differently toward them? Thinking of that same lady in Wegmans, maybe initially
you yelled back at her, but now, maybe you now think, “I have had bad days,
too. I’ll try to have a little extra patience for her today, and pray she finds
some support for whatever is weighing on her.”
It is a tough mirror to look into. I
really feel for King David when Nathan holds up such a mirror, when David is
faced with his sin. What a horrible feeling it is to recognize your own role in
a tough situation – for example, that you made an assumption about someone
without first trying to interpret their actions in the best possible light as
Luther suggests, and that has caused you to act differently toward that person,
and perhaps then you see that your assumption has caused a string of
half-truths – shared in confidence and with best intentions to inform or
protect others, but which have, nonetheless, damaged that person’s reputation.
How difficult to take responsibility for that sin, to confess it, and to commit
to making a changing.
But this response – to reflect, and
to repent, and to seek forgiveness – this is a response that leads to healing.
Jesus tells those gathered that this woman had come to Jesus seeking healing
and salvation from her many sins, and because she had received such immense
mercy, her response was to show great love. Love, the great healer of so many
ills, rarely results when we insist that we are right. But love always finds
space to grow in the face of repentance, because God’s mercy always follows
repentance.
You may have noticed we didn’t begin
worship with confession today as usual. Today, we are doing it in the middle of
worship, right before the passing of the peace. During that time of silent
reflection and self-evaluation, I pray that we will all use that time to look
for a mirror, to look for a chance to recognize our sin, and to confess, so
that when we hear those words of absolution in which God assures us of the
forgiveness of all our sins, that we will truly hear those words as the words
of healing and redemption they are meant to be.
Let us pray… Forgiving God, your mercy is extensive, and your love everlasting. Help
us to be humble in our self-reflection, noticing where we have fallen short of
your commandments and not loved our brothers and sisters as fully as you
intended, and help us also to change our ways so that we might live in great
love and service to others. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy
Spirit. Amen.
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