Mouse cushion, owl eyes, and deflatable boobs

Today I had my pre-op with the plastic surgeon, and I came with a slew of questions. For only the second time in this whole ordeal, I went to this appointment on my own, but it was just fine. After firing all my questions at him, I felt better by the end, which is great! Just how you want to feel after seeing the doctor! I was assured many times over that I would fit into my wedding dress, which was a relief. I was told I could get my tattoo (AFTER everything is healed), which also made me happy, though I surprised the resident with my question! I said I didn't want a nipple reconstructed, but wanted a tattoo. He said, "Oh we do those too..." (you can get 3-D nipples tattooed, yes!) I said, "No, I don't want a nipple. A sunflower." He looked a little surprised, then smiled and suggested someone I could go to. Yay!

The resident described the procedure again, and told me when I could shower again (couple days) and when I could drive again (couple weeks). He went over the risks for me, and I had lots of questions about that. The surgeon had said that he would be able to see right away if my skin would tolerate the implant procedure. I asked, "What happens if he sees that I can't?" He said they would either not inflate me as much at the time of the surgery, or if the issue showed up later, they could deflate me to take the pressure off the skin (just take out some saline). (I hope you are still picturing this like very colorful balloons, perhaps with smiley faces on them. I am.) If scar tissue shows up so extremely that it can be seen on the outside, or deforms the breast, then when they go in to swap out the saline for silicone (which I plan to do in a few months), they can also just scrape away some of the scar tissue. Great! I'm a little higher risk, but he didn't seem very concerned, because again, with plastic surgery, "high risk" is simply a cosmetic dissatisfaction. It's not like my new breast will suddenly try to kill me (like my current breast!).

When the plastic surgeon came in, he again reassured me, and said, "Looking at all the information, this is definitely the best option." Feels good to hear the surgeon say that! Then he took a before shot of my torso, and had me stand on a stool while he drew on me where the incision will be. He drew a sort of owl shape around the nipple and explained that this way, the skin wouldn't pucker when he sewed it shut. He showed me - I can see what he means! He drew a line along where the natural breast hangs, so he can match that the best he can. Then he initialed it. I admit I took a picture later - it looks really cool, like an owl eye! He said bilateral patients really do look like they have an owl drawn on their chest - two eyes instead of two boobs.

I asked several times about the wedding dress. "I need to fit in my perfectly fitting dress on Aug 3!" I said. "My breast needs to be the same size!" I said smaller was okay, because I could always add an insert. But too big is not an option - the dress won't zip. He said if it is too big, we can always deflate it a little bit - that is the beauty of these expandable implants I'm getting. Later, as I described this to my mom, I had to laugh. I could go to David's Bridal and try on the same dress (which I didn't have to ahve tailored) and make sure it fits before I go home for the wedding. If my new breast is too big, I can go in and have the breast deflated! Wouldn't that make shopping easier? "Doctor, this shirt pulls a little on this button - can you deflate me?" "Doctor, can you help me fill out this blouse?" I'm living in the future, I tell you.

Before I left, I asked if I could see the implants. There was a whole box full of the silicone, and they let me touch them - they are so cool! 

Very boob-like, and would be a good stress ball! The resident showed how they would work well for a pad to rest your wrist on while you use a mouse at a computer. True! 

The saline one was a little trickier to get a grasp of because it wasn't actually filled with saline, but I could at least see what they are putting in me tomorrow. It's got a port that will be accessible for the filling/expanding.

It was good to be able to see all of that, and be able to visualize all this a bit better. I feel better, I do. I think this might just go okay after all. And if not, I think there might be a good solution that I can deal with. As good as a real boob? No. But again, this boob tried to kill me, so it can't be worse than that!