Monday, September 2, 2013

Sermon: Humbled party-er (Sept 1, 2013)


Pentecost 15C
Sept. 1, 2013
Luke 14:1, 7-14

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
         As Michael and I have been working on setting up our house, several small projects have come up. One required us to go to a fabric store for a few items. We were fine at first, working together, but then I gave Michael a job and went to take care of something else. He confessed later that this had made him very uncomfortable, and he figured out why: “I don’t know the etiquette in fabric stores,” he said. “I’m not sure how things work – like whether I’m supposed to return the ribbon after she cuts it or if the employee does that – and it makes me really uncomfortable.”
         Who has not been there? Not necessarily in a fabric store – I know many of you are quite comfortable in that particular setting! But somewhere? I remember the very first time I went to a party in college, like, a party party, a scene that wasn’t my scene then, nor did it ever become comfortable for me. I had no idea how to act. The coolest kids seemed to be very relaxed, funny, and boisterous. Should I do the same? Should I just laugh at whatever they are doing, even though I think it’s stupid? Should I do one funny thing to solidify my status as a Really Fun Person, and then hope for the best? Should I just stand in the corner, try to look relaxed, and hope somebody comes and talks to me? Am I even wearing the right clothes? Is it extremely lame if I just leave early and go home and watch a movie?
         No doubt you can think of similar experiences in your own life, times when you felt like you were in the wrong place, didn’t know how to act, and weren’t sure of your status, and perhaps, subsequently, tried to establish a status for yourself. It’s human nature, after all, to establish a pecking order. Having that order helps us to understand life, to know what is expected of us, and to function in a somewhat organized fashion. Which is all well and good, until you find yourself in a situation where everyone else seems to know exactly what’s expected, but you are completely at a loss.
         This desperate search for social order is not unlike our Gospel lesson today. Jesus’ advice is astute for those in the first century as it is for us in the twenty-first century, whether you are just about to start school again, or going to work, or just spending time with friends. We understand it because he addresses this very human desire to establish an order to social interactions. This is a pretty nice party he is at – a dinner at the home of a respected religious leader. Surely everyone wants to establish their importance, maybe legitimize their presence there. Perhaps they are networking, getting “in” with the right people, so that when favors need to be asked or delivered, the connection has been made. In the first century especially, establishing your place in society was essential for survival. Jesus looks around at the self-ordering going on and offers this advice: don’t assume you are higher than you are. Start low and wait to be invited up, rather than risk being booted down in front of everyone – social suicide!
         It’s good advice… but it is also hard to swallow – because what if you start low and you don’t get invited up. Then everyone looks at you and thinks, “Oh she thinks she belongs down there, so I guess she does.” We are taught from a young age to have confidence in ourselves, to believe in ourselves, and be the best we can be. How is this accomplished by seeing yourself worthy only of the lowest seat?
         Well, there’s a difference between lack of self worth and the humility that Jesus is advocating. When you lack self worth, you don’t see what is good in yourself. When you are humble, you know there is good in you, but you don’t need to boast it. When you lack self worth, you don’t see yourself as worthy of love. When you are humble, you know that you are loved, just the way you are. When you lack self worth, you need to make up for it by compensating wherever you can – like assuming the highest seat, in hopes that others will look at you there, and believe you are good, and then maybe you can believe you are good, too. When you are humble, you are satisfied with who you are, no matter where you sit.
Humility sounds so good, but it is so difficult, because it requires vulnerability. It requires you to let yourself and others see you for exactly who you are, and trust that you will be loved and accepted anyway.
I experienced this in my first few days at Yale. They joke that those first couple months, everyone is waiting to be tapped on the shoulder and told, “We made a mistake – you don’t belong here after all.” I definitely saw this fear in my classmates and in myself. The first social gathering I attended, before classes had even started, it seemed every conversation I had was with someone trying to prove that they were smart enough to be at Yale. At first I tried to do the same, until I got into a conversation with one guy about the research he had done on the linguistics of glossolalia, and I finally couldn’t fake it anymore and swallowed my pride and just said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” It took him by surprise, I think, for someone at Yale to admit to not knowing something (especially something so significant to faith and life as the linguistics of glossolalia). For a moment, I considered going to my dorm and packing my bags, because clearly I had just proven my ignorance and disqualified myself from being a Yale student. But to my surprise, I actually felt quite liberated! “The secret is out,” I thought. “I am not as smart as some other people here. But someone thought I belonged here, and so I’m gonna stay and learn what glossolalia is!” (It is, for the record, speaking in tongues.)
And that is what the sort of humility that Jesus calls for can be – liberating. But first, it can be terrifying. Because suddenly we can’t rely on our accomplishments, or our brains, or our good looks, or our upbringing, or our clothes, or our car, or our friends, or our talents to establish our place in the social order. In God’s kingdom, you see, there is no social order. And that is what Jesus gets to in the next bit of advice, that he gives to the host. “When you give a party,” he says, “do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors. You invite them, and in all likelihood, they’ll invite you in return, and you would be repaid, and this human-constructed social ordering will just continue. Instead, when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you.”
You see, he turns all social interactions on their heads, liberating us from those expectations, yes, but also leaving us without a firm grasp of how to understand and function in this new, godly order, this Kingdom of God. We are so used to functioning in a society in which you do your part, and we may help each other out to be nice, but if you don’t pull your own weight, too, then forget it. We’d like to be repaid in some way for our kindness, or at least appreciated. But to reach out to someone who can in no way pay you back? Or even someone who could pay you back, but won’t? What is the purpose of that?
But that is not the way our faith works. Jesus did not die on the cross so that we would be indebted to him, or so that we would learn to then pull our own weight in the future. Jesus died to forgive our sins simply because he loves us, and wants us to know that no matter who we are or what we bring to the table, or what seat we sit in, or how we feel at parties or in fabric stores or anywhere, we are worthy of God’s love. And we are left at the foot of the cross with nothing to offer in return but our thanks and praise for a God who would freely give us this grace, who wants to be in relationship with us and with all people.
And so, Christ invites us to His table: invites those of us who are crippled in spirit, or lame in our walk of faith, or poor in love and charity, or blind and in need of light. God invites all of us, humbled and unable to repay, but each of us, by the grace of God, inspired and enabled to give praise and thanks.
Let us pray: Gracious God, you invite us, the crippled,  poor, blind and lame, to your table, and tell us we are worthy of love. Give us the strength and the courage to do the same, reaching out to the world with your gospel and hearts for service, without asking or expecting anything in return. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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