We had all kinds of plans for how the day would work, and some of them happened (really, the most important ones), and some of them didn't, but in the end we were very happy with how everything went. (You can't be too picky when you don't actually plan much!) Everyone kept asking me, "How do you want this or that?" but once again, our primary concern was the ceremony itself, not the reception. I took care of the big things - reserving the shelter, a tent to put food under, getting some extra tables and chairs to the park, an officiant, sign-up sheet at church to get numbers and a sense of what food was coming, and Michael arranged for PA system, beer and wine - and we hoped the rest would fall into place. Thanks to the hard work of our mothers and several other helpers, it did.
In addition to family, we had a few friends in town on Friday night, and everyone wanted to see the new house and get to spend some time with us, so we hosted a very casual open house on Friday night. Got some pizza, threw together some salad, got some beer and a box of wine, some Skittles in a bowl, and called it a night. It was wonderful to get to touch base with all these people before the hubbub of the next day! This was also the first time I met some of Michael's family, including his aunt, dad and step-mother! We all got along famously, of course. And I also got to meet my 6 week old goddaughter for the first time, and even though she was pretty tired from a long drive, we were fast friends. I'm already head over heels. It was definitely an evening full of love.
Saturday morning, we put people to work! But even with the best laid plans and all the extra hands we had, we were rushing at the end, and as people were arriving, I was moving stuff around in my dress and heels, and Michael wasn't even there yet! (He was home showering, having spent all morning setting up the PA system.) I guess that sort of set the casual mood, huh? For the first hour or so, I flitted around talking to people, thanking them for coming, inviting them to get some hors d'oeuvres. We had plenty of food (we contributed some). Kids played on the playground, and Klaus was a great big hit, especially among the kids. We had suited him up as "Best Dog" and put him in a yellow bow tie to match his dad's, and he was quite a charmer for the whole event. (My Bethlehem folks sat near him and watched over him for me, as well as my now former landlady, who adores Klaus and I think came to the wedding as much to see him as to see us!) Here's our family portrait - note the matching bow tie.
Sometime around 3pm, we had our ceremony. I had arranged for my aunt and uncle and aunt's brother to sing a processional, and invited everyone to sing along - it was a rewritten version of "As I Went Down in the River to Pray," with lyrics my aunt and uncle had used for their wedding:
As
I went down in the river to pray,
Studying
about that good old way and who shall bring
A
gift to share? Good Lord, show me the way.
Sons
and daughters, let’s go down, let’s go down, come on down.
Sons
and daughters, let’s go down, down in the river to pray.
As
I went down in the river to pray,
Studying
about that good old way and who shall bring
The
gift of faith? Good Lord, show me the way.
Oh
sisters, let’s go down, let’s go down, come on down.
Oh
sisters, let’s go down, down in the river to prayer.
Gift
of joy… Oh brothers…
Gift
of hope… Oh mothers…
Gift
of peace… Oh fathers…
As
I went down in the river to pray,
Studying
about that good old way and who shall bring
The
gift of love? Good Lord, show me the way.
With the Genesee River behind us, and our family all around, and faith, joy, hope, peace, and love almost palpable, it was the perfect way to be sung into Wedding Part II. I sang my heart out, and of course, I cried too. :)
The ceremony was very similar to the first one, with fewer readings, less music, a couple different prayers, and a different sermon. Our friend Jen, our pastor, drew on the river analogy, reflecting on Genesee Valley Park (our venue) being where two rivers converge, and on the journey our lives have taken and will take. It was lovely. We said our vows again - this time Michael cried first! And I got through "in sickness and health," but then got choked up and couldn't get through the next bit.
Near the end of the marriage liturgy is a marriage blessing. We had this in California, the standard one. This time, Jen had all of us gather in the center of the shelter, and everyone gathered around us and extended hands of blessing. She gave a shortened version of the standard blessing, and then opened up the space for anyone else to offer a blessing. As we were gathering, Klaus started barking, right on cue, as if he was offering his own blessing to his parents! Hilarious pooch. Apparently he was also "singing" with us (aka whining). He's such a show stealer.
The blessing was lovely. Among those who spoke up, there were family and friends, neighbors, my nurse from the breast care center, church members... It was very moving. When Jen finished up the blessing and closed the ceremony, we had arranged for my mom, dad, and uncle to sing a German round, a nod to our shared German heritage. Also, this particular round was sung at both my grandparents' funerals, my ordination, and my installation. It means, "I want to praise the Lord. His praise is always in my mouth." At the last minute, my brother and I jumped in, too. One of my parishioners captured it on video and threw it on YouTube. Here we are!
We had planned on the rest of the afternoon and evening being for food, schmoozing, and a jam session. I had also dreamed of Michael and I singing something together, but we didn't have time to practice and pull it together. My friend Noelle had prepared a toast, but we never even got to that. We didn't really have any program at all, actually, which is too bad because that also means we didn't get to thank people for being there or anything like that. What actually happened was we got some food, and tried to eat, but people started leaving right away, heading to other Labor Day events or traveling great distances home or what have you. And for the rest of the time, we were pretty much saying goodbye to people as they left. At one point, we opened one of our gifts, a gorgeous quilt pieced and hand quilted by the quilters at St. Martin. We also took a lot of pictures, including family pictures for Michael's side of the family.
Some folks danced a little, and Michael and I did get in one dance after most people had left, and after I could no longer wear my shoes. It was Michael Buble's "Save the Last Dance For Me."
When it came to be time to start closing down, Klaus dog was quite an asset to the clean up team. Once people really started leaving (a few hung back to help us clean up - thank you!!), we started cleaning. We also let Klaus off his tether, and he circled the perimeter, picking up all the food that people had dropped. While this really was helpful in the cleaning process, and it did keep him close by, that dog had the worst doggie hangover I have ever seen. Poor kid (and our poor carpet). His stomach was so upset. That night, he could not be moved, and even as people talked and moved all around him at our house afterward, he didn't move a muscle. We fed him rice and bullion for the next two days, and now he seems to be doing all right.
So, all in all a great day! We got to see some close family and friends again the next day (and Noelle gave her toast to the family, which she said was fine because she gets anxious in front of big crowds), and we did our best to just relax a bit, while still enjoying family.
And now we are 200% wed, and still as in love as we were a year and two days ago when we got engaged. No, we are much more in love, and more by the minute. We love being married! And we were so delighted to be able to share our joy with so many people - and for them to be able to tell us that they could really and truly see that joy in us. Several people said to us, "You are an inspiration - your love and your relationship!" It is mutual - we are so blessed and inspired to be surrounded by so many good folks. Thank you for all your joy and prayers!
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