A taste of normalcy

I just feel this urge to write something today, even though nothing is new in the world of fighting breast cancer. Or rather, I feel an urge to write BECAUSE nothing is new in the world of fighting breast cancer! It has been nice to feel mostly like a normal (only more easily tired) person for a while.

The whole recovery from surgery thing has been going fine. I'm a little more sore than last time, probably because I wasn't completely healed when they cut me open, plus they came all the way out to the skin. Hence, bruising. So even though I didn't dress up for Halloween this year, my boob put back on her Frankenboob costume. Post-op is tomorrow, and Michael and I will be going to Boston (Dana Farber) on Friday to get a second opinion from the folks in the women's center there. On the way I'll even get to see a couple of dear friends, so I'm feeling pretty happy about that!

All this to say that today is my last day in week-long respite-from-cancer-ness. And to be fair, it hasn't even been a respite (been busy trying to forward records to Boston, and all the stress that goes with that when you've lived in three different states in as many years), but it has FELT like one. I attribute this to a few things:

1) My little pup, Klaus. It has not been an easy transition for the little guy, I must admit. It's hard to lose your humans. So we've had some accidents, but he looks genuinely apologetic when it happens, and hangs his head (I think - but he's already so close to the ground, it's hard to tell). But he is SO DANG CUTE. He scurries around the house not wanting to miss anything, including, as it turns out, the moment I get out of the shower. I've decided this is cute, not creepy, and also that it's sweet, not annoying, when he completes the cleaning process by licking my bare ankles as I get ready. He's got more lovin' packed into that little body of his than one might think possible, and when he wiggles and squeaks when I come home, it is pure delight. Today he successfully spent almost the whole day alone (!), and could hardly contain himself when I came home and took him for a walk. For all the frustrating (and smelly/messy) parts of new dog ownership, he has at the very least provided me with a distraction. This week has been about him, not my boobs. And for this, I am thankful! I'd rather pick up poop than be poked and prodded at the doctor any day! (You may quote me on that.)

2) I'm ridiculously excited that today is election day. What a great feeling it was to walk to my polling site this morning (I felt this deep conviction that I needed to walk instead of drive), to fill in my bubbles, to see the screen say, "Your ballot is cast!" and to walk away proudly with my "I voted today!" sticker affixed to my clergy shirt. I don't know what it is about that sticker... and I felt extra thrilled to put it on a clergy shirt.

One of my churches is also a polling site, and I was there today, and just loved seeing the cross section of people coming in the doors. Today is one day when everyone matters just as much as everyone else (with the exception of Ohio-ans, who obviously matter the most), when everyone can rally around something that is common among us. Everyone was in good spirits (especially at St. Martin, where we were selling baked goods and used books!), there was a bustling atmosphere... it just felt so GOOD! I love election day!

3) I overall feel more energetic. I don't know why this should be, and as I said above, I do still tire easily from the anesthetic still in my system, but I feel a drive and motivation I haven't felt in months. I happily worked away on my computer yesterday until after 7pm! This weekend I finally had the energy again to visit someone in the hospital, and someone in their home today. JOHANNA IS BACK!! Or at least on her way back.

So, today I am thankful for feeling like a normal person - a person who walks her dog, who goes to vote, who is happy to be at work, who participates in polls when they call, who cleans her house and does her dishes... It's good to feel like Johanna again.