Cancer is a part time job.

Even when there's not a ton going on, it feels like having cancer is a part time job - and my treatments aren't even that extensive! It just takes so much time and energy, even when I don't realize it. To this end, I had another breakdown yesterday.

But back up. I had surgery on Monday, and that went really well. The people we encountered during the process were all really nice. My uncle was able to be there with Michael this time, which both really appreciated. Both Michael and I felt much less anxious this time around, I guess because we knew the outcome. The cancer was already out, this was just making it... outer? The only bad part was the sort of rocky recovery from the anesthetic, which was made worse by my wanting to rush out of the hospital to get home before Hurricane Sandy made it impossible to drive safely. But once I was home, everything was fine. Didn't lose power or anything.

This was my last anticipated treatment for a while, so although I still have several appointments in the next weeks, I guess you could say I'm really cancer free, at least for now. On the other hand, I've been at this since mid-July, and it's sort of become a new normal. Since July 9, there has always been a next procedure on the schedule, but now, nothing. Well, not nothing. I have two appointments next week and two the next. But nothing that will mess with my system. So there will be a certain amount of redefinition that will go with that, and that's affecting me emotionally more than I realized.

Other things about this week: We were happy that on Tuesday, Sandy canceled almost everything, so we thought Michael would get to stay with me all day. But he still had to go to work. (What's that about? School was closed!) So I ended up spending the whole day alone, except for one visitor. Although I had the first season of LOST to keep me company, it was a pretty boring day.

Wednesday, Klaus came! I will write a separate post on him. But in short, sweet as he is, he is really sad to have lost his humans. He spent the first part of Wednesday standing at the top of the stairs looking down at the door. Wednesday night he pooped on the floor. Thursday morning I found it. Then he pooped and peed on the floor again on Thursday. This will be a process.

Thursday, I spent a good chunk of time on the phone calling various doctors and insurance. Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston called Tuesday to set up an appointment for a second opinion on Friday, Nov. 9 - next week! So now I need to get all my records over there, not to mention reschedule the appointments I previously had on Friday. Since I need three years of records, I had to call three different facilities (thanks to my itinerant seminarian life). In the midst of all this, my GYN called. I was supposed to have an appointment with her next week, but she was calling because she had just been sent all the information about what's going on with me. So we talked about some of the fertility things that have come up, and some other very emotional things... and before I knew it, I was crying. I haven't cried in quite a while, and I thought I was doing okay. But now it seems two weeks of stuff was all coming out.

At least I had a sweet sleeping Klaus on my lap... but then he pooped in the bedroom. And then I had to go to a couple meetings (Klaus was going to come, but he was bad, so he had to stay crated at home). I was eager to get out, as I was getting restless. I got in my car, and... battery dead. Just like last time I had surgery, it went dead after sitting there for four days undriven. Except last time I got a new battery out of it, so why again?? So I called AAA, and then sat in the car and wept for about 10 minutes. It was a good cry. It felt good. I don't know where it came from, but it needed to get out.

The AAA guy came, I got to my two meetings, and then Michael's neighbor charged my battery up. Klaus and Daisy got along just fine, and we all curled up together and watched TV. Like a little family. Definitely the best part of the week.