The fact that I'm so upbeat about the turn out of my birthday shows me that I am in a pretty good place, because there was one humungous disappointment yesterday: we did NOT close on our house. More on that later. Even with that disappointment, the day was good - though last year's birthday set the bar pretty low.
Last year on my birthday, I had my very first biopsy. I went in for the mammogram on July 9 and came back for the biopsy on the 12th, right after my mom arrived at the airport to spend the weekend in Rochester. Between picking my mom up at the airport and going to the hospital, I found out that the son of members of one of my churches had been hit and killed while he was walking down the street late at night. I called them, and arranged to meet with the shocked and grieving family after the biopsy. I had the biopsy. I broke down sobbing in the waiting room, unable to bear everything going on that day, even as my phone buzzed repeatedly with facebook posts, emails, and texts saying things like, "Hope your birthday is full of smiles and happiness!" Right. You can see, it wasn't my best birthday. (Although that particular biopsy did turn out negative, so there's that.)
So this year, I woke up and read in bed for a while. I hung out with Klaus. I got creative and started trying to make a flower for my hair for the wedding - with pretty good success, I'd say!
(Which do you like better?)
I went shopping with a friend for clothes I can wear wedding week and for honeymoon. Said friend treated me to frozen yogurt. Michael got me flowers and nice gifts. We got dressed up and went out to a nice dinner and I got raspberry mousse for dessert. It was a good birthday, with a perfect balance of relaxing and doing fun things with fun people.
But if you recall, the Big Activity for my 30th birthday was supposed to be closing on our house, and that did not happen. Everyone who knows this has been outraged ("Can't you guys catch a frickin' break??"), but I'm strangely at peace about it. Sure, we're frustrated - we don't even really know the reason we haven't closed, but last I heard, we were awaiting approval for my First Home Club Grant from the Federal Home Load Bank, and then the bank can finish the HUD-1 statement, and then the lawyer can do whatever they need to do, and the approval needed is in "the final stage," whatever that is, but despite many phone calls all week, and a request to put a rush on it... nothin'. My mortgage commitment says we need to close by July 14, which is a Sunday, so I don't know what that means. And no one can seem to tell us when we will be closing on this thing, but I'm leaving for California for the wedding in two weeks, so it needs to happen before that, because when I come back I will no longer be "single" and all of my paperwork will have to be redone and together we do not qualify for the grant because Michael is not a first time home owner.
So I should be pretty freaked out about this, right? But for some reason, I'm not.
Maybe I'm just optimistic that this will happen in the next week. Maybe I've faced enough crappy things lately that this doesn't phase me like it might. Maybe I'm just done being frustrated and discouraged, and some part of me has decided I just won't feel that way anymore. Maybe I'm simply too tired.
Whatever it is, I am still feeling pretty good about being 30. I have pretty high hopes for this decade of my life - a decade free of cancer, a decade full of love and partnership, a decade which will, God willing, finally bring children into my life and allow me to finally fulfill what has been my one and only life-long dream. I am eager to see how these things will play out. How will it be to be married? What new musical instruments will Michael and I take on next? Will we bear biological children, or will we adopt? Will we stay in our new house (if we ever close!), or will we move again? How will my career evolve? What will the next decade bring in my churches, and how will that affect my understanding of my call? So many exciting things to discover!
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